According to research, sensitive people feel more connected to the natural world and are likely to benefit more from outdoor activities. Additionally, numerous studies show that physical activity and outdoor play can help reduce stress and anxiety.

As a result, prioritizing outdoor time is extremely helpful for sensitive children who are more prone to worries and meltdowns than their peers.

Why Spending Time in Nature is a Must

Stepping out of the city and into the vast expanse of nature can provide incredible relief to a sensitive child. Here are some reasons why:

Less sensory overload: Sensory inputs, such as loud noises, artificial lights, and strong smells, can easily overwhelm sensitive kids. But spending time in nature can help clear the mind of modern society’s overstimulating effect on HSP brains. Nature is perfect for mental grounding

Calming sensory experience: Nature is full of sensory stimuli but not in an overwhelming way. Many sensitive kids, with their high awareness and quick reactions, appreciate the textures and smells of nature, like the soft crunch of the leaves underfoot, the light breeze playing through your hair, and the distant chirping of the birds.

Better mood: Being active helps our bodies create more endorphins, the “feel good” hormones. So physical activity can be especially beneficial for children prone to anxiety.

More physical activity and self-confidence: Spending time in nature often involves a lot of physical activity, such as digging, exploring, hiking, biking, walking, or simply playing outside. Physical activity and unstructured outdoor play help kids clear their minds, and it also helps boosts confidence (“Will I be able to climb that hill or jump that rock?”, “Yeey, I did it!”).

How to Enjoy Outdoor Time with Sensitive Children

Sensitive children are a joy to be around, but their tendency to go into overdrive can make you think twice about trying anything new or intense.

Fortunately, with some extra awareness, you can definitely enjoy time outdoors with a sensitive child. So, here are our tips:

Do less, enjoy more. It’s best to choose simple activities: a short hike, a picnic, or a trip to the beach is always a safer option for sensitive children. Intense physical or sensory activities or a full-packed day can easily lead to a meltdown similar to those after school.

Also, sensitive children hate feeling in a hurry. So, if you give the impression that you’re in a rush (when hiking, for instance), that’ll be a cue for your sensitive child to slow down. So, take it slow and make it feel like you have nothing but time.

It’s about moving freely. Sensitive children put constant effort into following rules, being on their best behavior at school, and navigating the social scene. So, free, unstructured play outdoors after school and on weekends can be an effective way for them to decompress and get back in touch with their needs. Ideally, go for child-invented, child-paced, child-directed activities that allow kids to explore and parents to sit back and relax.

It’s easier to prevent than to manage big feelings. Ensure your child has many short breaks and that you balance high-energy activities with quiet time. Also, offer healthy snacks and plenty of liquids.

Each of us plays a different role in the family. For example, sensitive children may avoid sensory-intense, sporty, or scary activities (my daughter hates skating and is afraid of heights, for example). But they may like more artsy endeavors, like taking pictures of the others doing the scary sporty stuff. That’s fine, we are different, and we each play a different role in our families.

If you must do a family activity that everyone enjoys except your sensitive child, it’s best to make your HSP kiddo feel appreciated and look for a way to include them that doesn’t make them feel like they’re “less than’ (“I know you don’t enjoy long bike rides, but I’m glad that we’re all here. Please tell me if you need more breaks.”)

Step out of your comfort zone. Don’t be afraid of getting your child from their comfort zone at times. But also try to see things from their perspective – and do activities that your kid wants (meaning you’ll need to step out of your comfort zone, too):

• “I know you hate rafting. But what if we all do this right now, and you decide on the activity tomorrow?”
• “What if we make a list of outdoor activities and take turns choosing something so everybody gets to do what they like?”

Remind your child how proud they will be when they’ve done something they were afraid to:

• “Remember when you learned to swim? You were so proud of yourself. Think how proud you’ll be when you do this on your own.”
• “You haven’t needed any help at all until now. How does it feel?”

14 Outdoor Sensory Activities for Sensitive Children

Here are some outdoor sensory activities that sensitive kids may enjoy:

• Nature Scavenger Hunt: Encourage your child to use their senses to find objects like leaves, flowers, and pinecones.
• Leaf Rubbing: Place a piece of paper over a leaf and have your child use a pencil to rub over it.
• Sound Map: Listen to the sounds of the woods, then draw a map showing where different sounds came from.
• Nature Painting: Use natural materials like mud or berries to paint on tree bark or rocks.
• Nature Bracelets: Use tape or string to create bracelets decorated with items you found in nature, like leaves and flowers.
• Smell Bottles: Collect small containers with pine leaves, flowers, or tree moss and have children identify and describe each smell.
• Texture Walk: Walk barefoot on grass, sand, or mud and feel the different textures.
• Nature Collage: Use items found in nature to create a collage, feeling the different textures of each item.
• Blindfolded Walk: Blindfold your child and have them walk through the woods, relying on their other senses to guide them (and on you, of course).
• Nature Shadow Tracing: Trace the shadow of natural objects with chalk or crayons.
• Nature necklaces: Make necklaces with natural materials such as acorns or seashells, feeling the textures of each item.
• Bark Rubbing: Use crayons or pencils to rub the bark of different trees.
• Nature Weaving: Use natural materials such as grass or leaves to weave a small mat or basket, feeling the textures of each material.
• Pinecone Exploration: Have your child collect and explore pinecones, feel, and observe the texture and shape of each pinecone.

11 Backyard Activities for Sensitive Children during Summer

• Sensory Garden: Plant a sensory garden with different scents and textures, such as herbs, flowers, and vegetables.
• Outdoor Music: Play music outside for children to dance and move to. You can also play freeze dance.
• Bird Watching: Set up bird feeders and watch birds come and go.
• Outdoor Reading: Provide a cozy reading nook outside for children to read and relax in.
• Picnic: Have a picnic outside, enjoying the sights and sounds of nature.
• Sensory Wind Chimes: Create wind chimes with various materials such as shells, beads, and metal pieces for children to listen to.
• Outdoor Movie Night: Set up a movie projector outside for children to watch and enjoy under the stars.
• Sensory Walk: Create a sensory walk by placing different textures such as stepping stones, grass, sand, rubber mats, and hula hoops for children to walk on.
• Evening sensory light play: Use colored lights to create a sensory experience for children to explore.
• Chalk Drawing: Use chalk to draw on the driveway or sidewalk, allowing children to express their creativity and feel the texture of the chalk.
• Mud Kitchen: Create a small kitchen area where children can play with mud and other natural materials, feeling the texture and consistency of each item.
• Yoga: Practice yoga poses and stretches outside in the morning or before bedtime.
• Evening family game: Create a tradition by playing a fun family game outside on summer evenings. It can be a board game, charades, or anything else the family enjoys.

We hope that these tips and activities will help when your child needs an outdoor break. But, even if sometimes “outdoor fun” means something different for you and your kiddo, what matters most is spending time together and creating memories.

Your child may need to qualify for an IEP to get more flexibility. However, high sensitivity is not a diagnosis, so they won’t be eligible, unfortunately.

If you are in this situation, public charter schools can be an excellent option for your child.

What are charter schools?

A public charter school is a school that receives public funding (you don’t have to pay anything) and is often run by a group or organization under a charter granted by the state, the district, or another organization.

Charter schools are semi-autonomous. So, they are exempt from some state laws and regulations. However, in return for flexibility, they must adhere to the requirements established in its charter. Also, the organization that granted the charter periodically reviews and can cancel it.

Charter schools have become increasingly popular in the United States, especially in the West and South, particularly for elementary school children (see the chart below).

The number of charter schools went up from 5,000 in 2009 to more than 7,000 in the fall of 2020. They now account for roughly 7 percent of U.S. public schools. In addition, enrollment in public charter schools more than doubled over the period, reaching 3.4 million students in the fall of 2019.

Why are charter schools good for your sensitive child?

Smaller than public schools

About 44% of charter schools have less than 300 students. So, they can give you a feeling of belonging to a community, particularly if they are nonurban (44% of charter schools are outside cities, but there are significant variations depending on the state).

A sensitive child usually thrives in smaller communities where they know others well.

Customized education

Charter schools have more flexibility and can deviate from the approved curriculum, unlike public schools. As a consequence, charter schools can create specialized programs (like science and art) which benefit children with special interests.

There are also Montessori and Waldorf charter schools. A sensitive child usually performs well in Montessori schools as they focus on independent activities.

School performance

The schools’ charters usually include student performance metrics. In addition, charter schools need a good reputation to draw students. These are incentives for keeping standards high.

Related: 10 Smart Ways to Help Your Sensitive Child Succeed in School

What are the cons of charter schools?

You may have to volunteer more if your child is in a charter school.

Plus, charter schools usually have lotteries if the number of students wishing to enroll exceeds their capacity.

Also, charter schools vary in quality, so you must do a lot of research before choosing the best school for your child.

Fortunately, we did part of the job for you. This report gathers data to determine the best states for charter schools where your sensitive child can thrive.

Best states for your sensitive child’s charter school

Our criteria for choosing the best charter school states were:

1. We excluded states with no charter school laws

We started our analysis with the regulatory side.

Five states don’t have charter schools. These states are Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, and Vermont. So from the start, we excluded these states from our study.

2. We excluded West Virginia and Kentucky.

West Virginia and Kentucky have incomplete statistics, so we did not include them in our report. However, they have a minor impact because, in these states, less than 1 percent of public school students go to a charter school.

Other states where charter schools are less popular (meaning that less than 1 percent of students attend charter schools) are Alabama, Kansas, Mississippi, Virginia, Washington, Virginia, and Wyoming.

3. We ranked the rest of the states based on Safety (35%), Quality (30%), Community (30%), and Market share (5%)

Safety

Our Safety indicator is the number of students who possessed or brought firearms to school per 100,000 students.

The chart below shows the safest states in light grey: Missouri, New Jersey, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, and Arizona. These states received a good ranking as we assigned a 40% weight to the Safety category.

The most dangerous are Louisiana, Arkansas, New Mexico, and Illinois (colored in black and dark red).

Table: Top 10 safest states (by number of students who had firearms at school)

Quality

Then, we assessed the quality of the charter schools by ranking the states by SAT and ACT scores (15% weight for each). Unfortunately, these are not available for charter schools, so we used state-level results.

As the graphs below show, Minnesota had the highest mean SAT score in 2021, while the prize for the highest ACT score went to Massachusetts.

In the map charts below, light-colored states have the best results.

Community

Finally, we considered the feeling of community by assigning a 15% weight to the charter schools outside the city (located in the suburbs, in towns, and rural areas). Moreover, we favored charter schools with less than 300 students by giving this indicator a 15% weight.

At the national level, about 44% of charter schools are outside cities, but significant variations exist. For instance, all the charter schools in D.C., Missouri, Mississippi, and Alabama are in cities. Kansas is the polar opposite, with 70% of charter schools in rural areas. States with a large percentage of charter schools in the suburbs are Utah (61%), Florida (57%), Massachusetts (49%), Rhode Island (48%), and New Jersey (46%).

The chart below shows the percentage of charter schools outside cities. As you can see, the greenest states are Kansas, Utah, Idaho, and Oregon, each with more than 80% of charter schools in the suburbs, towns, or rural areas.

Below we show the percentage of small charter schools with less than 300 enrolled students. Iowa and Wyoming are on top, but they also have a low number of charter schools.

States where charter schools are more popular (so you’ll have where to choose from) but also smaller in size are highlighted in the red circle in the chart below.

Market share

We assigned a 5% weight to how popular charter schools are in a given state, as we believe having options is essential.

In addition, when kids have more schools to choose from, competition between schools rises. In other words, a more significant presence of charter schools can lead to increased competition with public schools, eventually benefiting the kids’ education. Charter schools attract students from public schools. As they gain more market share, competition between them and public schools is likely to rise.

Almost half of the charter schools are in four states. The states with the most charter schools are California (1,336 units), Texas (927), Florida (676), and Arizona (555).

Here’s an overview of the U.S. states with the most significant number of charter schools.

Of these four states, Arizona seems like the best option:

• Arizona has more small-size charter schools (55% of the total have less than 300 students)
• Arizona ranks high in terms of safety (possession of firearms at school); bullying is also close to the national average.

Also, about 43% of public school students attend charter schools in D.C., with an average of 300 students per school.

Results

Taking into account all our indicators, here are the top five states with the best-suited charter schools for highly sensitive children:

Below is the map of U.S. states by safety, quality, community feeling, and charter school popularity. Dark blue states provide the best opportunities in terms of charter schools for a sensitive child.

1. Maine

2. Minnesota

3. Rhode Island

4. Iowa

5. Massachusetts

Conclusion

Choosing the right school is crucial for your sensitive child to thrive, given their emotional and sensory sensitivities.

In these times of school shootings and pandemics, many Americans are moving states to find a place that best suits their families, finances, and values.

If charter schools are an option for you, hopefully, this study was a good stop as you collect information about states that best align with your interests.

References

NCES, Report on The Condition of Education 2022 (https://nces.ed.gov/pubs2022/2022144.pdf

National Alliance for Public Charter Schools (NAPCS) https://www.publiccharters.org/

U.S. Department of Education (https://www2.ed.gov/rschstat/landing.jhtml?src=pn)

I always looked forward to Halloween costumes and parades when I was little. Then, as I grew older, my family always wanted to increase the fear factor with haunted attractions and scary movies. At that point, my Halloween anxiety crept in.

When I was eight, and we were waiting to visit a haunted house, I got scared by the people wearing costumes. So, I ran back to our car and waited for my dad to open the vehicle. But a werewolf followed me, growling, “I’m going to get you.” That was the last time I went to a haunted house.

You see, most children know that ghosts and monsters don’t exist, but there’s always that “What if” risk. What if that creature comes to life and haunts me back home? What if that werewolf bites me?

So, do your best to offer validation to your child. Showing empathy when they get anxious is essential for their self-esteem and trust in you.

In this article, you’ll learn:

1. Why Halloween can make your highly sensitive child (HSC) anxious
2. Emotional regulation strategies to cope with Halloween Anxiety
3. Game ideas to ease Halloween Anxiety
4. How to celebrate Halloween in an HSP-friendly way

Why does your child get Halloween anxiety?

First of all, anxiety around Halloween can be developmentally appropriate. Research (1) shows that, although preschoolers can differentiate between reality and fantasy, most are unsure if an imagined creature can become real.

We associate Halloween with witches, zombies, ghosts, sudden noises, blood, and gore. Also, is it just me, or does it seem like costumes become more realistic each year?

No wonder this holiday ignites anxiety in your child, especially if they are HSC socially anxious. Children are still emotionally immature and can react badly to things we consider minor. But that doesn’t make your kid’s anxiety less real.

Anxiety starts in your brain. The amygdala, which is the part of the brain that has to do with the fight-flight-freeze-fawn reactions, manages survival behaviors. When it senses a threat, it reacts immediately.

After the alarm bells go off, the other parts of the brain (the cortex and the hippocampus) start analyzing the situation’s seriousness. Most people calm down as soon as they realize there’s no danger.

But when you are anxious, you remain scared even when you realize there’s no reason. This is because the amygdala remains activated for longer, and your mind remains alert.

Your HSC has a more reactive nervous system. So, their brain and body react more strongly. That’s why your kid doesn’t like getting startled or scared.

Moreover, the pressure to celebrate Halloween can make your child socially anxious. Sensitive children don’t usually like to be the center of attention. They can worry that people will make fun of their costumes and feel eager when opening the door for trick-or-treating and having to make small talk with neighbors.

Let’s not forget about sensory sensitivities. For example, your child might say that the dress-up clothes feel funny and itchy. Add sensory issues to the overwhelming celebrations, and you are in for a meltdown.

Fortunately, you can prevent Halloween meltdowns by preparing your kid in advance and managing your own expectations.

Below are some great emotional regulation strategies for Halloween anxiety.

Emotional regulation strategies to cope with Halloween Anxiety

1. Offer validation

It can be embarrassing for you to see your kid experience anxiety related to Halloween, but denying your child’s worries can make them worse. As always, offering emotional validation is the crucial starting point.

Telling your child, “Toughen up, buddy! There’s no reason to be scared. It’s all in your head,” will make things more difficult. Instead, say something along the lines, “It’s okay to feel nervous. I feel nervous sometimes, too.”

2. Involve your child in the Halloween preparations

Instead of waiting for your child to get anxious and avoid all the fun, prepare them in advance. Tell them that Halloween monsters are not real and that people like to dress up for fun.

Include your child in the Halloween preparations. For instance, decorate the house, make pumpkin pies and have them choose the Halloween sweets.

3. Have a secret “Help” sign

Setting ground rules and expectations are also crucial. For example, tell your child to ask you to join hands during the spookiest scenes in a Halloween movie or when you walk into a haunted house with creepy-crawly creatures.

4. Expose your child gradually to what they fear

Although your initial instinct might be to stay away from scary movies and haunted houses entirely, gradually exposing your kid to what makes them anxious can help.

Sometimes, the best way to manage anxiety is to face our fears and progressively build tolerance.

While horror Halloween movies might never be your child’s thing, you might help them build enough tolerance to watch a single movie together with family, maybe without the spookiest part.

Also, it’s okay if your kid entirely avoids Halloween movies and haunted attractions as long as they don’t feel like they are missing out.

Experts (3) have discovered that empathetic people (we know that highly sensitive children have large amounts of empathy) don’t enjoy watching scary movies, regardless of how the movie ends.

5. Practice mindful breathing

Help your child relax through mindful breathing. This breathing technique makes the alarm bells go off by setting in motion the parasympathetic nerves. This part of your nervous system relaxes the body after dangerous or stressful situations.

There isn’t an ideal moment for mindful breathing. Some children might relax by taking deep breaths before going on ghost walks. Others need breathing exercises before leaving the safety of their home. Even yet, others need to breathe right after leaving a spine-chilling place. So, it would help if you found out what works best for you.

6. Pause and reason

We automatically believe our thoughts are true, but that isn’t always the case.

Although understandably, haunted houses (2) can be frightening, the reality is that zombies that eat brains don’t exist.

Teach your child to pause and ask themselves, “Can this happen? Is this real?”

7. Reframe thoughts

Whenever a movie is scarier than your child anticipated, tell them, “This is a movie. That ghost that you see on TV is an actor. They were paid to do that and probably also had great fun doing it.”

You can even think of a power phrase for your kid to say to self-regulate, like:

• “This isn’t real. I am safe.”
• “I am not in danger.“
• “I am safe. All is well.”
• “This isn’t real. I am starting to relax. I feel calmer. I am okay now.”

8. Don’t beat yourself up too much

It’s best to understand that your kid’s anxiety around being scared or taken by surprise is biological and may even be developmentally appropriate. Therefore, work on accepting their fear and provide emotional support when necessary.

Your attitude matters because emotions are contagious (4). For example, chuckling after seeing your child surprised by a ghost makes your kid less likely to feel scared than if you had gasped. Similarly, being relaxed when seeing a spooky Halloween character can help your kid feel more at ease.

Play games to ease Halloween Anxiety

Do role-play with your sensitive child to ease their Halloween fears. Follow their lead to see their worries and if they are scared of something specific (they might be scared of spiders but think ghosts are fun, for example).

Here are some ideas:

Idea #1: The giant bear

Get a giant stuffed bear and start a game where a monster (the bear) startles your little one. Teach your child what to say to the monster and when to use your secret help sign.

Idea #2: The worry monster

Buy a soft plush monster and start discussing your child’s worries. Then, suggest to your child to feed their concerns to the worry monster.

Alternatively, you can have your child draw a worry monster and stick the drawing on the fridge. They can talk to the worry monster each time they do something brave.

Idea #3: The worry box

Buy a wooden and unpainted small box, and have your child paint it with colors of their choice. Depending on your child’s age and skills, you can also opt for a plain tissue box or make an Origami box.

Then, have your kid write down or draw their worries about Halloween and share their fears with you. Afterward, put the list or the post-it notes in the box and close it. The final step is encouraging your child to think of something cheerful for a few moments.

Idea #4: Halloween-inspired playdate

Organize a Halloween-inspired playdate (before the actual Halloween) where your child’s friends can come for a trick-or-treat and play monster games. You could also organize a non-scary scavenger hunt for the kids.

Idea #5: Figurines

Play pretend with figurines (you can use Lego or build monsters out of play dough or clay). You can practice trick-or-treating at home with figurines (or dolls), and use pretend candy.

Idea #6: Clay play

Clay gives you a lot of freedom to create your game. You can even build an entire Halloween scene (like a haunted house) out of clay. Alternatively, you can use play dough for miniature sets and sand.

Tips:

1. Use air-dry clay.
2. Clay is better for building scenes because it hardens. But play dough is less messy

Celebrate Halloween in an HSP-friendly way

Just because some people enjoy the thrill of a scary experience, it doesn’t mean your family should celebrate Halloween the same way.

Everyone is different, and that is okay. You can celebrate Halloween with fire-pit parties, pumpkin pies, trick-or-treat, and Frozen/Paw Patrol costumes. Also, you can decorate your home with non-scary pumpkins, friendly ghosts, and fall flowers. In fact, you can go for a fall-inspired theme rather than scary Halloween decorations.

Below is a list of non-scary Halloween activities for your highly sensitive child:

1. Play witch’s broom races
2. Dive into  a massive pile of leaves
3. Create a pumpkin fairy house
4. Paint friendly pumpkins (you can also use fallen leaves to decorate them)
5. Make non-scary spider webs (here’s a tip: put up a tape web across a doorway and let the kids decorate with mini pom-poms)
6. Make a candy wreath
7. Make a backyard bonfire
8. Visit a corn maze
9. Go for a hike and enjoy the fall landscape
10. Plan a hayride
11. Visit a pumpkin farm
12. Plant fall flowers
13. Have a backyard dinner for Halloween
14. Make a fall flower arrangement for every room
15. Paint friendly-looking zombie rocks.
16. Make cute pumpkins out of balloons and cartoon paper strips
17. Go apple picking and play bob-for-apples.

References

1. Harris, P.L., Brown, E., Marriott, C., Whittall, S. and Harmer, S. (1991), Monsters, ghosts and witches: Testing the limits of the fantasy—reality distinction in young children. British Journal of Developmental Psychology, 9: 105-123. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.2044-835X.1991.tb00865.x
2. McAndrew, F. T. (2015). Evolutionary psychology explains why haunted houses creep us out. The Conversation.
3. Hoffner, C. A., & Levine, K. J. (2005). Enjoyment of Mediated Fright and Violence: A Meta-Analysis. Media Psychology, 7(2), 207-237. https://doi.org/10.1207/S1532785XMEP0702_5.
4. Desautels, Lori, “Emotions are Contagious” (2014). Scholarship and Professional Work – Education. 113. https://digitalcommons.butler.edu/coe_papers/113

Then you know that toddlers throw tantrums so often that it’s impossible not to get triggered. It’s what they do. According to the Yale Medicine website, children younger than four can have up to nine tantrums per week. The good news is that if your toddler can release the tension in the first 30 seconds, the tantrum will likely be shorter, and you are less likely to intervene.

But how can you not intervene? Though we know tantrums are a normal part of development, we feel our pulse racing when we see our child sprawling on the floor at Target. To make things worse, the ear-splitting tantrum and the side-eye looks are enough to make your cheeks burn if you are an HSP parent.

So how can we avoid letting toddlers’ tantrums trigger us?

Being able to calm yourself is easier said than done. That’s why getting familiar with a few calming tactics can help you react gently to your toddler’s big emotions.

1. Give yourself compassion

Most of us want to be gentle parents. Yet, our parents raised us in the old way, with rewards and punishments. Because misbehaving in public was a big no, you may find it hard to accept your toddler’s outbursts. But instead of feeling guilty, give yourself some compassion and say to yourself:

• “It’s okay for this to trigger me. It’s triggering because I used to get punished when I behaved like that.”
• “I feel nervous. It’s okay. I don’t have to copy my parents’ reactions. I can break the cycle”.

In addition, the fact that you are reading this article means that you are a good parent. Simply acknowledging that will help you be kinder to yourself. That is key to remaining calm during toddler tantrums.

2. Take time to calm down

Toddlers can be intense, physical and noisy, which is enough for an HSP parent to feel overwhelmed. Moreover, they may not the only ones crying after a tantrum. That’s why it’s best to take one step at a time when you feel that you can’t take it anymore:

1. Ensure your toddler is safe.
2. Try, “Mommy needs a moment to calm down” or “I need a moment to calm down; then, we’ll see how we can make things better.” Then, take time to calm yourself.
3. Come back to your toddler and help them co-regulate.

Sometimes counting to five is enough. Other times, you might want to center your thoughts on an object like a necklace , an old photo you carry in your handbag or a special rock you painted with your child.

Focusing your attention on your child’s little hands and face can also help you calm down and realize how young and immature they are and that they aren’t trying to upset you.

But you might also need to walk away to another room for one minute and take a few deep breaths. HSP parents might need to do that because they can recalibrate better by going somewhere quiet and reducing stimulation.

The problem is that you might feel guilty afterward for letting your child deal with their emotions alone while you were gone.

But here’s the thing.

If going to another room is your best method to calm down, then go for it. If you are doing the same thing repeatedly, your toddler will learn that you will return. In the end, it’s all about having predictable behavior. Toddlers, and highly sensitive toddlers, in particular, thrive on predictability.

3. Take responsibility for your actions

Being predictable also means not reacting based on your emotional state at the time. For example, imagine your toddler starts crying and kicking in the evening when you come home after work. The reason? You cut their banana in two, and they can’t put it back together. When you’re tired, you might not be able to see how funny the situation is. So, you might explode.

If you do, apologizing for your reaction might be the best way to reconnect and model behavior simultaneously. You can try this:

• “I’m sorry for getting upset earlier.”
• “I shouldn’t have raised my voice.”
• “I’ll try to stay calm next time.”
• “Would you like a hug?”

Remember to get down to their eye level, use simple language, and promise to do better next time. You may want to avoid setting limits when angry unless it’s for safety concerns. Again, it’s because limits work best when you connect before you correct.

Related: 9 Things You Should Never Say to Your Perceptive Child

4. Each child is different.

Your toddler’s tantrums can be quite challenging, especially if they have a strong-willed nature compared to their peers.

But here’s the thing.

Every child is unique and responds to their environment differently.

If you have a highly sensitive toddler, it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with them or your parenting. It simply means their central nervous system is more reactive, causing them to experience intense emotions quickly. This is why they feel things deeply. While they might exhibit self-control at times, it’s important to remember that self-regulation is a lifelong learning process.

So, consider adjusting your expectations to match your child’s temperament, and approach them with empathy and compassion where they are.

5. Reframe your thinking.

Tantrums often mask unspoken needs that children can’t express beforehand. Instead of assuming your toddler is deliberately defiant, consider tantrums as their way of clumsily communicating. For example, your child might feel hungry and crave something sweet instead of dinner. When you say “no,” it can trigger an outburst.

However, let’s give them the benefit of the doubt. It’s likely not deliberate defiance. Maybe their blood sugar is low, or they’re tired and need your assistance with eating. Perhaps they simply missed you because you’re at work all day.

This doesn’t mean you should give in. Instead, try to empathize with their perspective, allowing you to set boundaries with compassion.

Related: How to Help Your Deeply Feeling Child Set Emotional Boundaries

6. Pick your battles.

Tantrums serve as a way for toddlers to learn about boundaries and develop their sense of willpower. They mark the initial steps towards fostering independent thinking and your child expressing their own views. As they grow, you’ll take pride in their ability to stand up for themselves and their beliefs.

So, the goal isn’t to eliminate tantrums entirely, but to guide your toddler in safely expressing their emotions without harming themselves or others.

Tantrums often arise when toddlers want to do things independently or when they can’t have something they desire. Your child has a clear intent, but it may not align with what’s allowed.

To minimize tantrums, it’s helpful to encourage your toddler’s independence whenever possible. Start by choosing your battles wisely and identifying what is non-negotiable for you. Then, for less critical matters, grant your child freedom to explore, ensuring the environment remains safe.

For instance, if your toddler wants to help with washing dishes, offer them plastic cups under your watchful eye. If they express interest in watering plants, say “yes” for the garden and large pots around the house, but “no” for the smaller potted plants where there’s a higher risk of carpet getting wet.

Related: How to handle aggressive behavior in a highly sensitive toddler

Check out our video below on How to Handle Toddler Tantrums as an HSP Parent:

References

https://www.yalemedicine.org/conditions/anger-issues-in-children-and-teens

Potegal, M., Kosorok, M. R., & Davidson, R. J. (2003). Temper tantrums in young children: 2. Tantrum duration and temporal organization. Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics, 24(3), 148–154. https://doi.org/10.1097/00004703-200306000-00003

According to studies, highly sensitive children (HSCs) can do much better in life than their peers when they receive the proper support. But when raised in a challenging environment, they are more prone to anxiety and depression during adulthood.

Consequently, finding out whether your baby is an HSC is essential for them to have a good start in life.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download the Highly Sensitive Child checklist FREE Printable (ages 2+). This checklist can help you find out whether your child is highly sensitive, identify their triggers, and find out their strengths which can help build their self-confidence.

Here are the most common signs that you have an HSC infant:

1. Your baby has strong emotions, and you have an incredible bond

An HSC infant can have strong feelings and be a mini perfectionist who needs things to go as planned.

However, when your baby is happy, they are radiant. And while they aren’t as independent as other babies (some might call an HSC infant “clingy”), they grow very attached to you.

They are highly empathetic and sense what you feel, so when you are relaxed and happy, they will be, too.

Your positive attitude can help them regulate more quickly when they are upset.

When you are attuned to your HSC infant and spend a lot of one-on-one time with them, they become the happiest and most cooperative babies.

2. Your HSC infant likes adults that respect their boundaries

You may have noticed that your HSP infant is very picky about the adults in their life. What do these people have in common? The answer is that they are gentle, use a softer tone of voice, and, generally, respect your HSC’s boundaries. Thanks to their high sensitivity, your baby has a radar for these persons.

When meeting your HSC, they greet them and hold their gaze before trying to engage them in play. Likewise, they might offer to keep your baby in their arms, but don’t try to take them from you. Moreover, they understand that some babies are slow to warm up and see it as normal. In a nutshell, your infant HSC instinctively likes people that respect your kiddo’s boundaries.

3. Your HSC infant gets easily overstimulated around lots of people

Crowded places, parades, birthday parties, family gatherings, and even playdates can make an HSC infant fussy because they bring:

• extra uncertainty. Meeting lots of people usually means that you are taking the baby out of their daily routine (you don’t go to parties and family gatherings daily, after all). Getting out of the daily routine can unsettle your infant HSC by itself because it brings uncertainty.
• more stimulation. Crowded places with lots of people can be overstimulating because of the noise, people wanting to hug and hold the baby, new food, and bright lights.

While lots of people can be overwhelming for your infant, avoiding all social events is not okay either because we live in a community, after all.

Instead, try to expose your baby to overwhelming situations gradually. For example, you can leave earlier if your baby gets fussy. Moreover, try to follow your baby’s meal and nap routine as much as possible.

Also, you might carry your child in a baby carrier. A carrier will allow your baby to quickly look away when they want to, smell your familiar smell, breastfeed and sleep.

4. An HSC infant usually struggles with sleep

Sleep struggles are common among HSC infants, mainly because they have problems ignoring the stimuli around them.

Due to how their brain is wired, HSCs are highly observant and feel things deeply, which can easily overwhelm an infant with no self-regulation skills.

Finding their optimal time window is the key to getting your little one to sleep. To find the sweet spot, it’s best to have one-on-one time before bedtime, lower stimulation gradually in the evening and watch out for any sleep cues.

In addition, a lot of sensitive babies need a physical connection to regulate their nervous system, especially when they are overtired and can’t fall asleep. Though it can be hard for parents to co-sleep, your HSC will eventually outgrow it and become able to manage their big feelings better. Co-sleeping with your HSC infant might be the only solution that works during tricky periods, like teething, running a fever, or sleeping in a new place.

Here are other helpful tips for sound sleep: a consistent bedtime routine, plenty of outdoor time in the morning to trigger melatonin production, blackout curtains, white noise, lavender sleep spray, cuddling before bed, and breast-sleeping (breastfeeding on the side and co-sleeping).

Related article: How to Help Your HSC Surrender to Sleep

4. Your baby is sensitive to noises

When my son was still three months old, he received a present from my aunt, who had never heard of highly sensitive children. God bless her soul. She gave him a noisy toy frog.

Well, that toy frightened my son more than anyone expected. At first, he didn’t understand where the noise was coming from, and his face got red, and he started crying. Then, when he located the noise source, he still couldn’t understand why he had to listen to it. He didn’t play with the frog until he was six months old. At that age, he was old enough to handle the toy by himself and control the noise level.

I learned from my son’s behavior that an HSC baby’s sensitivity is triggered by things they can’t control. But as they become older, they learn to control or avoid what bothers them.

5. Your HSC infant might be a fussy eater

As babies, HSCs are often picky eaters either because they have a smell and taste sensitivity or allergies. Their food sensitivities might cause increased gas or make them gag and spit up more often.

What’s more, mother’s milk can make them fussy if you eat foods that make your baby gassy or foods to which they are allergic. This is not to say that you should entirely avoid your favorite dishes, but add variety to your diet.

Related: How to Deal With Your Picky Eater HSC

6. Bright lights might overstimulate your baby

In the first months of his life, my son didn’t like flashing toys like other kids, so he got anxious around them. Instead, he wanted to play quietly with his rubber blocks, shape sorters, and cars.

Moreover, as a baby, he would get fussy when we’d go to parties where there were a lot of lights and loud music (even children’s parties). Also, sleeping in an overstimulating environment (like at a party or in his stroller at the mall) was a big no for us.

7. Certain textures make your infant HSC fussy

Highly sensitive persons often complain about the seams in their socks or rough textures. Babies can’t do that. Instead, they get fussy.

So, if your HSC infant seems unsettled for no apparent reason, try to change them in more comfortable clothes, let go of the woolen blanket or adjust room temperature. The higher the temperature, the more sensitive we become to touch. Think how well you feel clothes on your skin on a hot summer day!

8. Your baby has strong separation anxiety

Your HSC infant can find separation from you very upsetting, mainly if you two are used to spending lots of one-on-one time.

But parents are human, after all. So, you need alone time to do some self-care. Finding time for self-care is essential, not only for you but also for your family, so you need to have it on top of your weekly (if not daily) to-do list.

To have some alone time, you need to learn how to handle your HSC’s separation anxiety. Here are a few tips for reducing separation anxiety: fill your baby’s bucket before separating, try brief separations first, foster independent play, and never sneak away.

A Take-Home Message

HSPs don’t do well with uncertainty, and highly sensitive babies are the same. Many things can trigger this feeling, like new people and places and stepping out of the daily routine.

Moreover, an HSC baby’s reactions depend a lot on your own. Your body language, voice, and facial expression can signal your infant if they can remain relaxed.

However, as they are incredibly young, your baby can’t yet learn coping skills.

What can you do?

To be the best parent for your baby, you need to do these two things: practice self-care and help your child co-regulate their emotions.

References

• Kennedy E. Orchids and dandelions: How some children are more susceptible to environmental influences for better or worse and the implications for child development. Clinical Child Psychology and Psychiatry. 2013;18(3):319-321. doi:10.1177/1359104513490338
• Pluess M, Belsky J. Vantage sensitivity: individual differences in response to positive experiences. Psychol Bull. 2013 Jul;139(4):901-16. https://doi: 10.1037/a0030196. Epub 2012 Oct 1. PMID: 23025924.
• Belsky, J., Jonassaint, C., Pluess, M. et al. Vulnerability genes or plasticity genes?. Mol Psychiatry 14, 746–754 (2009). https://doi.org/10.1038/mp.2009.44.