Gifted kid burnout can be tricky to identify. Here’s what you need to know about it.
Growing up, I felt more sensitive than my friends, which made me highly self-aware. Like many highly sensitive children, I also excelled in school. My parents and teachers often praised my about my conscientiousness, so school results became vital to my identity. They defined my self-worth.
I spent most of my summer holidays in math and chess camps. My memories mainly consist of solving logic puzzles and studying chess openings that I had trouble remembering afterward.
In many ways, I’ve remained unchanged. For instance, memorizing chess openings is still something I need help to do. Additionally, I’ve carried into adulthood my toxic perfectionism and performance anxiety, and ability to notice details that others miss. For many years, I valued myself based on how others viewed me and on my accomplishments.
While society often praises ambition and perfectionism, they have kept me from feeling good about myself. As a result, I’ve spent years searching for meaning even though I’m an accomplished adult by society’s standards.
And now that I am a mother, I see the same traits in my child. My kid always tries to do what’s right. The teachers love them. Family and friends say that my kiddo is kind and well-behaved. Yet, we have been seeing a therapist for six months for child anxiety.
The therapist told me about the gifted kid syndrome. And then it clicked.
What do sensitivity and giftedness have in common?
“Gifted kid syndrome” refers to challenges that highly intelligent children have, and that they often carry into adulthood.
Studies also show that about eight out of 10 highly sensitive people are gifted. Here’s what sensitivity and giftedness have in common:
- Cognitive development: Gifted kids have high IQs and excellent memory, while sensitive children process information deeply. Both are curious and notice small details. They develop cognitively faster than emotionally and socially. Unfortunately, that can make them feel different.
- Difficulty making friends: Both gifted and sensitive children may feel like outsiders because they know that they are different. They might make constant efforts to fit in, leading to stress and masking.
- Strong emotions: Both gifted and sensitive children are emotionally intense at a young age. They are susceptible to criticism, overthinking, and have a strong desire for fairness.
- Self-pressure and burnout: Gifted and sensitive children often face massive pressure from parents and school. Fear of failure rises, leading to anxiety, and self-doubt.
One difference between sensitivity and giftedness is that gifted people process new information quickly, whereas sensitive people have a pause-and-check approach. HSPs need time to warm up and process what happens around them.
A Highly Sensitive Child is More Prone to Gifted Kid Burnout
Highly sensitive children can be prone to chronic stress due to how their nervous system works. They are easily frustrated and may feel the need to control their environment.
Moreover, sensitive children don’t want to let you down. Unfortunately, they may have the courage to say what they want for fear of disappointing you.
Highly sensitive children are also quickly disappointed by setbacks and take criticism hard. They will eventually burn out if daily stressors add up and are not compensated by quiet time and positive experiences.
Warning Signs of Gifted Kid Burnout Every Parent Should Know
Here are some signs that your child has gifted kid burnout:
- Feeling overwhelmed by minor things
- Low frustration tolerance
- Lack of motivation
- Somatization (unexplained tummy aches, headaches, and other unexplained physical symptoms)
- Unable to separate self-worth from school results
- Dreading school and after-school activities
- Meltdowns or shutdowns
- Negative self-talk and pessimism
- Pressure to live up to expectations
- Toxic perfectionism.
This negative mindset can lead to mental health challenges later in life. Sensitive and gifted kids may experience more stress, anxiety, and perfectionism, which can contribute to depression, anxiety disorders, and even eating disorders.
6 Tips to Manage Gifted Kid Burnout
1. Make time for free play
Free, unstructured play can play a significant role in preventing gifted kid burnout. Sensitive and gifted children often face academic pressure and a constant need to perform. Engaging in child-directed play provides a much-needed break from these demands and allows them to recharge their energy.
2. Practice gratitude
One of the most effective ways to instill gratitude is by modeling it ourselves. When children see us being thankful for the little things, they learn to do the same. Additionally, encourage them to reflect on what they are grateful for each day by sharing their thoughts during family discussions or creating a gratitude journal together. By highlighting the positive aspects of their lives and the kindness they receive from others, we cultivate a mindset of gratitude that shapes their overall outlook. Remind them to say “thank you” genuinely, not just as a social norm, and to show gratitude through acts of kindness.
3. Identify your child’s superpowers
Help your gifted and sensitive kid recognize their unique abilities, such as kindness, creativity, empathy, love for meaningful conversations, thinking outside the box, and attention to detail. Show them how these superpowers contribute to their self-worth.
4. Practice a growth mindset
Shift the focus from academic achievements to praising effort and progress. Emphasize the importance of hard work, resilience, and personal growth rather than solely the result.
In addition, show your child that mistakes are learning opportunities (“What did you learn from this experience?”). They are a natural part of the learning process (“You can’t do it YET.”). Encourage them to view mistakes as opportunities to improve and try again (“How can you approach this differently next time?”)
5. Foster a balanced lifestyle
Grades and competitions aren’t everything. Life is about more than school, and feeling good about yourself is not only about accomplishments.
Children can be more resilient when they have hobbies outside of school. For instance, you can encourage your child to try sports (maybe not competitive sports, though), arts, and hobbies that allow them to have quiet time.
A balanced lifestyle helps gifted children develop time-management skills, prioritize self-care, and maintain a healthy perspective on success.
You’ll find in the infographic below a list of hobbies that your highly sensitive child might enjoy:
6. Teach stress management techniques
Help your child develop healthy coping mechanisms for managing stress. For instance, you can teach them to identify their emotions, do deep breathing exercises and mindfulness techniques, or encourage journaling to express their thoughts and feelings.
You can find below some fun deep breathing exercises that your kiddo may like.
