I’m the mother of an HSP girl with ADHD. Her diagnosis allows her to thrive.

Does your HSP girl have ADHD? How can you tell?

In this article:

• Being an HSP (highly sensitive person) is a strength if we are confident in ourselves.
• A recent study on adults showed strong correlation between being an HSP and having ADHD.
• People confuse high sensitivity with ADHD because they overlap.
• Girls with ADHD are more difficult to diagnose since they don’t have disruptive behavior.
• High sensitivity is a temperament trait, hence it can’t be diagnosed.

At eight years old, my HSP girl still had meltdowns at home. Nevertheless, she was on her best behavior at school. She didn’t resist change as she used to, however, transitions were challenging when she was overtired. Additionally, she had strong reactions to social injustice. Finally, certain smells and sudden noises overwhelmed her. In particular, a long day of school followed by extracurricular activities made her sensory sensitivity more obvious.

On the bright side, she had a great vocabulary. Moreover, she had a closely-knit group of friends so she was doing great socially. What’s more, she thrived in a structured environment.

For me, my daughter Tia looked like an HSP girl who struggled with self-regulation. She couldn’t have ADHD because she had good results in school and had a solid group of friends, right?

But researching attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), then seeing a therapist proved I was wrong.

What does being an HSP mean?

Dr. Elaine Aron coined the expression “highly sensitive person” (HSP) in the 1990s. High sensitivity or sensory processing disorder (SPS) is a character trait found in one-fifth of the population. That’s means roughly 450 million children are highly sensitive.

From my experience with my daughter, being an HSP is not a weakness. For one thing, it involves overanalyzing others’ behavior and character. It also means paying close attention to what happens around you. So, it can be a powerful ability if we feel confident in ourselves.

Talking about confidence, have you wondered why your HSP girl shows her true self only at home? In my opinion, it’s because she feels secure with family members. She trusts her caregivers to respect her and treat her right. But, on the contrary, when among strangers, she may become fearful because she doesn’t know what to expect.

To be sure, high sensitivity becomes a weakness when associated with a lack of confidence. Low self-confidence often makes us doubt ourselves and others’ intentions. But if we have a positive attitude, then our HSP superpowers will help us overcome challenges. 

Is there a relationship between high sensitivity and ADHD?

Unfortunately, there isn’t a lot of research on the link between ADHD and high sensitivity. Thus, the first study showing a strong positive correlation between high sensitivity and self-reported ADHD traits was published in 2020. Moreover, the study participants were adults.

On a different note, Dr. Elaine Aron says on her website: “To me, the important test is whether the person has good concentration in a quiet place.” She then adds: “Most of those with ADHD do not, and may concentrate better with some noise. Most HSPs have excellent concentration in a quiet place and when not overaroused.”

Why do people confuse high sensitivity with ADHD?

If you’ve internalized some worries about your HSP girl having ADHD, you’re not alone. Unfortunately, many parents don’t know where high sensitivity ends, and ADHD starts because they overlap.

That is why I gathered here some similarities to help you:

Sensory sensitivity (to noise, smells, crowds, fabrics)

Trouble falling asleep after a stimulating day

Strong creativity

Strong moral compass

Problems with transitions

Feeling overwhelmed by lots of tasks

High sensitivity to criticism and rejection

Difficulty regulating emotions

Rich inner life

Here are HSP traits that we don’t usually see in girls with ADHD:

Prefers quiet places because it can’t tune out in stimulating environments

Avoids emotional and high suspense movies and TV shows

Concentrates well in a calm environment

Is deeply affected by other kids’ fighting

Empathetic (knows how to make people comfortable)

Cautious (do it once and do it right attitude)

Perfectionist

Here are ADHD symptoms that differ for HSP traits:

Difficult to pay attention to details

Has difficulty engaging in quiet activities

Daydreamer

Argumentative

Talks excessively

Interrupts other children’s games and conversations

Has difficulty interpreting social cues

Has difficulty organizing and prioritizing

Impulsive

Fidgety

Craves stimulation (some HSPs are high sensation seekers also)

Doesn’t pay attention when you talk to them directly

Avoids engaging in tasks that require sustained attention

Often “on the go”

Controlling behavior towards peers

What are the symptoms of ADHD in girls?

People also call girls with ADHD the “lost girls.” The reason is that diagnosing girls is more challenging because they are more likely to have inattentive-type symptoms. Besides, they can mask well. Also, the ADHD diagnostic criteria were initially designed to identify the “disruptive boy,” not the “distracted girl.”

Here are some common signs of ADHD in girls:

Daydreaming

Being a chatterbox

Argumentative

Overly sensitive

Fidgety

Making careless mistakes

Avoiding complex mental tasks

Any kid exhibits these behaviors at some point, especially overstimulated HSP children. However, in the case of children with ADHD, it happens often. What’s more, it impacts their daily life, whether we’re talking about school, friends, or family.

What happens with ADHD left untreated?

I worried about what would happen if my HSP girl never got a diagnosis. Probably, later in life, she would end up blaming herself for her negative experiences. Moreover, internalizing guilt can lead to low self-esteem over time and even self-punishment in more severe cases.

Additionally, other complications include:

• social isolation, trouble making new friends
• prolonged sleep problems
• potential eating disorders and substance abuse disorders
• a sense of hopelessness and potentially depression.

I wanted my HSP girl to lead a normal life and trust her HSP superpowers. That is why I finally decided to talk to our healthcare provider.

Is it high sensitivity or neurodivergence?

ADHD is a mental disorder, whereas high sensitivity is a character trait.

Thus, a mental illness disturbs our day-to-day lives and can affect a child’s relationships and school results.

On the other hand, high sensitivity is a temperament trait. Therefore, an HSP child can cope with daily challenges, even if it takes longer. Though they may avoid what triggers them, highly sensitive children eventually come around with gentle guidance.

Ultimately, an experienced specialist gave my HSP girl an official ADHD diagnosis. Part of me felt worried about her growth and development. I also felt guilty for not seeing a doctor earlier. However, our support after the diagnosis made me a better parent.

If you suspect a disorder, please talk to your healthcare provider. This way, you can offer your HSP girl the support that she needs to thrive. Embracing your child as they are and showing confidence in their potential matters most.

References

• Maria Panagiotidi, Paul G. Overton, Tom Stafford. The relationship between sensory processing sensitivity and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder traits: A spectrum approach, Psychiatry Research, Volume 293, 2020,113477, ISSN 0165-1781, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2020.113477. (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0165178120331383)
• Littman, E. (2012, December). The secret lives of girls with ADHD. Attention, 18–20, http://drellenlittman.com/secret_life_of_girls_with_adhd.pdf
• Jacobson, R. (n.d.). How girls with ADHD are different
  http://childmind.org/article/how-girls-with-adhd-are-different/
• Elaine Aron (2022). https://hsperson.com/faq/hs-or-adhd/