Do you have an HSC infant?
According to studies, highly sensitive children (HSCs) can do much better in life than their peers when they receive the proper support. But when raised in a challenging environment, they are more prone to anxiety and depression during adulthood.
Consequently, finding out whether your baby is an HSC is essential for them to have a good start in life.
Before you continue, we thought you might like to download the Highly Sensitive Child checklist FREE Printable (ages 2+). This checklist can help you find out whether your child is highly sensitive, identify their triggers, and find out their strengths which can help build their self-confidence.
Here are the most common signs that you have an HSC infant:
1. Your baby has strong emotions, and you have an incredible bond
An HSC infant can have strong feelings and be a mini perfectionist who needs things to go as planned.
However, when your baby is happy, they are radiant. And while they aren’t as independent as other babies (some might call an HSC infant “clingy”), they grow very attached to you.
They are highly empathetic and sense what you feel, so when you are relaxed and happy, they will be, too.
Your positive attitude can help them regulate more quickly when they are upset.
When you are attuned to your HSC infant and spend a lot of one-on-one time with them, they become the happiest and most cooperative babies.
2. Your HSC infant likes adults that respect their boundaries
You may have noticed that your HSP infant is very picky about the adults in their life. What do these people have in common? The answer is that they are gentle, use a softer tone of voice, and, generally, respect your HSC’s boundaries. Thanks to their high sensitivity, your baby has a radar for these persons.
When meeting your HSC, they greet them and hold their gaze before trying to engage them in play. Likewise, they might offer to keep your baby in their arms, but don’t try to take them from you. Moreover, they understand that some babies are slow to warm up and see it as normal. In a nutshell, your infant HSC instinctively likes people that respect your kiddo’s boundaries.
3. Your HSC infant gets easily overstimulated around lots of people
Crowded places, parades, birthday parties, family gatherings, and even playdates can make an HSC infant fussy because they bring:
- extra uncertainty. Meeting lots of people usually means that you are taking the baby out of their daily routine (you don’t go to parties and family gatherings daily, after all). Getting out of the daily routine can unsettle your infant HSC by itself because it brings uncertainty.
- more stimulation. Crowded places with lots of people can be overstimulating because of the noise, people wanting to hug and hold the baby, new food, and bright lights.
While lots of people can be overwhelming for your infant, avoiding all social events is not okay either because we live in a community, after all.
Instead, try to expose your baby to overwhelming situations gradually. For example, you can leave earlier if your baby gets fussy. Moreover, try to follow your baby’s meal and nap routine as much as possible.
Also, you might carry your child in a baby carrier. A carrier will allow your baby to quickly look away when they want to, smell your familiar smell, breastfeed and sleep.
4. An HSC infant usually struggles with sleep
Sleep struggles are common among HSC infants, mainly because they have problems ignoring the stimuli around them.
Due to how their brain is wired, HSCs are highly observant and feel things deeply, which can easily overwhelm an infant with no self-regulation skills.
Finding their optimal time window is the key to getting your little one to sleep. To find the sweet spot, it’s best to have one-on-one time before bedtime, lower stimulation gradually in the evening and watch out for any sleep cues.
In addition, a lot of sensitive babies need a physical connection to regulate their nervous system, especially when they are overtired and can’t fall asleep. Though it can be hard for parents to co-sleep, your HSC will eventually outgrow it and become able to manage their big feelings better. Co-sleeping with your HSC infant might be the only solution that works during tricky periods, like teething, running a fever, or sleeping in a new place.
Here are other helpful tips for sound sleep: a consistent bedtime routine, plenty of outdoor time in the morning to trigger melatonin production, blackout curtains, white noise, lavender sleep spray, cuddling before bed, and breast-sleeping (breastfeeding on the side and co-sleeping).
Related article: How to Help Your HSC Surrender to Sleep
4. Your baby is sensitive to noises
When my son was still three months old, he received a present from my aunt, who had never heard of highly sensitive children. God bless her soul. She gave him a noisy toy frog.
Well, that toy frightened my son more than anyone expected. At first, he didn’t understand where the noise was coming from, and his face got red, and he started crying. Then, when he located the noise source, he still couldn’t understand why he had to listen to it. He didn’t play with the frog until he was six months old. At that age, he was old enough to handle the toy by himself and control the noise level.
I learned from my son’s behavior that an HSC baby’s sensitivity is triggered by things they can’t control. But as they become older, they learn to control or avoid what bothers them.
5. Your HSC infant might be a fussy eater
As babies, HSCs are often picky eaters either because they have a smell and taste sensitivity or allergies. Their food sensitivities might cause increased gas or make them gag and spit up more often.
What’s more, mother’s milk can make them fussy if you eat foods that make your baby gassy or foods to which they are allergic. This is not to say that you should entirely avoid your favorite dishes, but add variety to your diet.
Related: How to Deal With Your Picky Eater HSC
6. Bright lights might overstimulate your baby
In the first months of his life, my son didn’t like flashing toys like other kids, so he got anxious around them. Instead, he wanted to play quietly with his rubber blocks, shape sorters, and cars.
Moreover, as a baby, he would get fussy when we’d go to parties where there were a lot of lights and loud music (even children’s parties). Also, sleeping in an overstimulating environment (like at a party or in his stroller at the mall) was a big no for us.
7. Certain textures make your infant HSC fussy
Highly sensitive persons often complain about the seams in their socks or rough textures. Babies can’t do that. Instead, they get fussy.
So, if your HSC infant seems unsettled for no apparent reason, try to change them in more comfortable clothes, let go of the woolen blanket or adjust room temperature. The higher the temperature, the more sensitive we become to touch. Think how well you feel clothes on your skin on a hot summer day!
8. Your baby has strong separation anxiety
Your HSC infant can find separation from you very upsetting, mainly if you two are used to spending lots of one-on-one time.
But parents are human, after all. So, you need alone time to do some self-care. Finding time for self-care is essential, not only for you but also for your family, so you need to have it on top of your weekly (if not daily) to-do list.
To have some alone time, you need to learn how to handle your HSC’s separation anxiety. Here are a few tips for reducing separation anxiety: fill your baby’s bucket before separating, try brief separations first, foster independent play, and never sneak away.
A Take-Home Message
HSPs don’t do well with uncertainty, and highly sensitive babies are the same. Many things can trigger this feeling, like new people and places and stepping out of the daily routine.
Moreover, an HSC baby’s reactions depend a lot on your own. Your body language, voice, and facial expression can signal your infant if they can remain relaxed.
However, as they are incredibly young, your baby can’t yet learn coping skills.
What can you do?
To be the best parent for your baby, you need to do these two things: practice self-care and help your child co-regulate their emotions.
References
- Kennedy E. Orchids and dandelions: How some children are more susceptible to environmental influences for better or worse and the implications for child development. Clinical Child Psychology and Psychiatry. 2013;18(3):319-321. doi:10.1177/1359104513490338
- Pluess M, Belsky J. Vantage sensitivity: individual differences in response to positive experiences. Psychol Bull. 2013 Jul;139(4):901-16. https://doi: 10.1037/a0030196. Epub 2012 Oct 1. PMID: 23025924.
- Belsky, J., Jonassaint, C., Pluess, M. et al. Vulnerability genes or plasticity genes?. Mol Psychiatry 14, 746–754 (2009). https://doi.org/10.1038/mp.2009.44.
