These triggers can feel distressing though your child can’t always explain why. And while sometimes there’s no obvious answer, it helps us learn about small triggers that might cause problems.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our Highly Sensitive Child checklist for FREE . The Highly Sensitive Child Checklist can help you find out whether your child is highly sensitive, what emotional triggers they struggle with, and what strengths they have.

A deeply feeling child can develop a sense of otherness when feeling misunderstood.

A deeply feeling child that feels misunderstood can develop a “sense of otherness“.

Sensitive people feel different from an early age. They sense that they are more cautious that what’s considered normal by most people, they aren’t as easygoing and bold, and have sensory issues that others don’t understand. Unfortunately, this inability to fit in can turn into low self-esteem if not addressed. As they reach adolescence, it can result in isolation, especially if it comes with anxiety, depression, or panic disorder.

Moreover, research has shown that high sensitivity is associated with negative emotions and health issues caused by stress. That’s why it’s crucial to understand your child’s triggers and learn how you can turn them to your child’s advantage.

So, here are six seemingly small triggers that can overwhelm a deeply feeling child.  

6 Small Things That Overwhelm a Deeply Feeling Child

1. Small talk is awkward for a deeply feeling child

Meaningful conversation topics are what deeply feeling children are good at. However, engaging in small talk can be challenging, especially with people they don’t know well. Sensitive children need time to observe the surroundings before talking. Or they may not know what to talk about, which can make them feel ashamed.

Moreover, deeply feeling children are intuitive – they won’t make friends with someone who they don’t like from the start. So, they’ll avoid small talk with that person because kids generally aren’t good at keeping appearances.

Another reason why some kids don’t like small talk is because they process information deeply. They spend much time in their head and ponder what happens to them and others. They are more interested in finding answers to questions like “Why did God invent germs?” than talking about their school day.

Here’s a tip for the adults in your child’s life: ask them to play. Less sensitive people, or adults who have forgotten what it’s like to be a child, may not notice this, but kids usually become quiet when adults ask them questions. Instead, children are more likely to talk when adults get to the child’s eye level and play.

2. Hubbub is overstimulating

If you’ve been at birthday parties and playdates, you may have noticed how your child takes short breaks now and then. For instance, they may want to speak with you privately, to hug you, to play a quick game with you, or take a walk with you around the premises. Deeply feeling children need these breaks to recharge.

School is another example of a crowded and overstimulating place. Think about it – the bustling activity in classrooms, hallways, and playgrounds can overwhelm their sensory system. Your child may struggle to filter out the excessive stimuli, leading to emotional overload and after-school meltdowns.

3. Certain textures cause frustration for both parents and children

Children who score less on the sensitivity scale aren’t bothered by seams or a T-shirt applique. They can ignore these sensory discomforts.

Deeply feeling kids can’t do that. They might refuse to wear underwear until you remove an uncomfortable tag. And they may avoid denim and wool because they can’t ignore the itchiness.

Touch sensory issues can be very frustrating for parents but remember that your child doesn’t do it on purpose. It’s how their brain is wired.

4. Unexpected noises can frighten a deeply feeling child

Sensitive children, especially toddlers, may get scared by sudden noises like automatic toilet flushing, a dog barking, or fireworks. Why? If the child gets scared the first time they hear the sound, they will associate the noise with fear.

Let’s take an example – automatic toilet flushing. Using public restrooms can be stressful for sensory-sensitive children, especially if they are in the toilet learning stage. You can hear others’ steps and voices, the hand dryer, other toilets flushing, and then there are the artificial lights and the small space.

If it’s a dog barking, maybe it’s not even about the barking; it may be about a previous negative experience with unpredictable pets.

Another example is fireworks. When there are fireworks, there are also crowds, bright lights, and perhaps unfamiliar people. The experience can be overwhelming for a child who is sensitive and maybe too young to understand what’s going on. Then, as they grow up, they’ll remember that negative experience and be afraid of fireworks.

5. Last-minute changes can overwhelm a deeply feeling child

Deeply feeling children are not usually spontaneous. Instead, they find comfort in plans and to-do lists. So, letting your child know at the last minute that you’re going to a family party can result in a meltdown if they have already pictured a quiet Saturday at home. Putting things off until the last minute is not a great idea, either. For instance, rushing them to do their homework in the evening can feel like a descent into chaos.

It’s essential to know that sensitive children don’t choose to feel overwhelmed – in fact, they are usually eager to please and sweet.

Teaching them to think in small steps under pressure is an excellent way to avoid overstimulation. Moreover, try to give them advance notice when possible so that they can mentally prepare for the event.

6. Having to say “no”, express needs and wants is hard for a deeply feeling child

Deeply feeling children often have difficulty saying “no.” That’s because they are so conscientious and compassionate that they may feel selfish and ashamed for putting their needs first. But this behavior paves the way for repressed emotions. When those emotions resurface, they’ll cause tricky behaviors.

That’s why setting boundaries is vital for deeply feeling children. They need to get comfortable expressing their needs and wants with people outside the home– like classmates, teachers, and family friends.

Different isn’t always easy but here’s the bright side

Little triggers and quirks can make life extra difficult for your deeply feeling child, and, equally important, they can lead to stigmatization.

But there’s also a bright side – and it helps to focus on this part because our confidence in their potential gives children the power to be themselves. The bright side is that the small things that bother your child can also make them more creative and likely to develop out-of-the-box solutions.

Take noise-canceling headphones, for instance. Amar Bose, an American engineer, businessman, and academic, invented them. In 1978, while on a flight, Bose got excited to try the new lightweight electronic headsets for in-flight entertainment. However, he found that the loud cabin noise prevented him from enjoying the music. Frustrated, he sketched a design for noise-canceling headphones. Back home, Bose assembled a team of engineers to bring his vision to life. It took them 15 years to perfect the technology, despite facing criticism. Bose remained committed to his idea, leading to the development of noise-canceling headphones. The drawings made during that flight served as the foundation for this groundbreaking innovation. Today, noise-canceling headphones are widely used, a testament to Amar Bose’s perseverance and belief in his concept.

Small triggers can make life stressful for a deeply feeling child. Remember to offer your child various experiences, just not many, all at once. Exposing them gradually and explaining what’s happening will help boost their self-confidence and make life easier in the longer run.

Many children that are more sensitive to their environment develop odd or repetitive behaviors like sucking, squeezing, poking, and sniffing. Sometimes, they take it too far – squeezing too hard, putting tiny rocks in their mouth despite endless reminders – and do these things longer or more often than we feel comfortable.

These quirks can embarrass, irritate and worry parents. That’s because when googling “quirks” and “weird child habits,” we land on websites about autism and social media groups where your child gets diagnosed with autism, sensory processing disorder, and anxiety.

While being aware of neurodivergence signs is helpful, some kids are just quirky.  

Also, once you understand that their behavior has a purpose, you’ll no longer see it as an embarrassing or irritating habit that needs to disappear.

Before you continue, we thought you might like our Time for Adventure FREEBIE. This fun activity can encourage your child to step out of their comfort zone and try new things, which, in turn, can boost their self-confidence.

6 Types of Quirky Kids

1. Mouthers

Some kids suck on their clothes, chew when nervous, and put their fingers in their mouths when tired.

These children may like crunchy snacks and chewy candy and can be messy eaters.

These behaviors are generally harmless, but you may want to redirect them if the behavior becomes unsafe.

For instance, you can offer a piece of gum to a child who chews mindlessly on their sleeve. Gum is considered safe for kids over four years old.

Another option is to have mouth fidgets and offer one to your child (“I can see that you are tired and are bringing your fingers to your mouth. Would you like your chew necklace?”)

2. Close-talkers

Do you know those kids who talk too close to your face and make you uncomfortable?

Some children take longer to learn to be aware of their body position in space. When they’re also curious or excited, they might forget all that you’ve taught them about the concept of personal space.

These children may play roughly with siblings without meaning to bump into things and unintentionally break objects. Their favorite activities may include roughhousing and slamming their bodies into bean bags.

3. Sniffers

Does your child smell their teddy bear or your T-shirt when tired or upset? If yes, then you may have a sniffer.

Some adults and children like to smell things to check if they’re okay, clean, safe, or simply because it makes them feel good. For instance, many people sniff fresh clothes, new food, their favorite blanket, or a new book.

The smell is the sensory system that connects directly with the limbic system, the brain’s emotion, memory, and pleasure center. So, it’s about association. For example, you feel good when visiting your childhood home and smelling your mom’s pie. Likewise, little ones enjoy smelling things that bring back comforting memories.

If you have a sniffer, they might enjoy scented playdough, scented crayons, and playing with herbs such as mint, lavender, and cinnamon (you can mix the spices and herbs with rice in a sensory box, or you can have a smell jar).

A sniffer might also need to carry a favorite toy everywhere to feel safe.

4. Spinners

A toddler who rocks themselves to sleep may become a kid who likes to spin in circles when overwhelmed. They may also love swinging, bouncing, and taking risks on the playground. That’s because their nervous system needs more balance and motion activities.

Some kids are highly agile and coordinated, so they may turn to sports that offer them the sensory input they crave. You may find that they’re into gymnastics, skateboarding, mountain biking, and other sports that require lots of coordination.

The problem is that some spinners don’t stop moving until they go into sensory overload. So, it helps to look for the first signs of overwhelm. You may want to encourage the child to switch directions if they’re spinning or stop for a few minutes. It’s also great to have sensory toys like a hobby horse and trampolines.

Related: How To Calm an Overstimulated HSC Who Has Trouble Sitting Still

5. Fidgeters

Some children, especially when anxious or tired, like to feel, squeeze, poke, and touch objects and people within reach. Fidgeters may also be the ones who can’t sleep alone in their bed at night because they feel the need for physical closeness.

They may have been the babies that woke up whenever you tried to leave the room and who liked to sleep with one hand on your boobs.

Their brains release more oxytocin, the feel-good hormone when they touch things with their hands and fingers. That’s why it helps to have a small sensory box with fidget toys from which your child can choose when they feel nervous.

Related: Heavy Work Activities for Kids

6. The Quiet Ones

The five categories above – Mouthers, Close-Talkers, Sniffers, Spinners, and Fidgeters are sensory seekers. That is because they need sensory input to regulate.

But there’s also another type of quirky child, the Quiet Ones. Their environment more easily stimulates the Quiet Ones. They process things more deeply and notice more details than others. They are also more empathetic and compassionate. These are highly sensitive children, a term coined by Dr. Elaine Aron. Highly sensitive children are usually slow to warm up, so many label them “shy” or “quiet.”

For an outsider, they may seem quirky partly due to their sensory avoidance – which is a direct consequence of noticing and processing so much information. For instance, a highly sensitive child may feel uncomfortable in amusement parks because of the noise and lights and hate chocolate bars (too chewy) and jello pudding (too slimy). They are also slow to warm up in new settings and with new people, so they are often labeled as “shy” or “withdrawn.”

Heightened sensitivity is something innate, not a passing childhood quirk. So your child will be highly sensitive for the entire life. Fortunately, it is a neutral character trait that 1 in 3 people have, and highly sensitive kids have many gifts.

When You Need to Worry about Kid Quirks

Quirky stages are a normal part of childhood because children’s brains are still developing. Moreover, children develop unevenly and at different speeds.

It’s time to start worrying when you feel that your child misses out on opportunities because of their behavior. If your child’s habits interfere with daily life, then it’s time to ask for medical help. For example, you may want an OT evaluation when your child refuses to go with the school bus because of the noise.

Quirky kids usually find a way to cope, whereas children with sensory processing disorder can’t regulate themselves and need accommodations.

A Take-Home Message

We often try to stop our children from acting quirky because we fear judgment. It’s normal to want our children to fit in, but it also helps to learn when to let it go. So, unless your child’s strange habits interfere with daily functioning, let them express themselves. Be sure that other kids have quirks, too.

Sometimes, quirky children become quirky adults. What matters most is for kids to value what makes them unique when they are old enough to realize they’re different. How they feel early on about their quirks can determine whether they’ll love or resent who they are.

According to research, sensitive people feel more connected to the natural world and are likely to benefit more from outdoor activities. Additionally, numerous studies show that physical activity and outdoor play can help reduce stress and anxiety.

As a result, prioritizing outdoor time is extremely helpful for sensitive children who are more prone to worries and meltdowns than their peers.

Why Spending Time in Nature is a Must

Stepping out of the city and into the vast expanse of nature can provide incredible relief to a sensitive child. Here are some reasons why:

Less sensory overload: Sensory inputs, such as loud noises, artificial lights, and strong smells, can easily overwhelm sensitive kids. But spending time in nature can help clear the mind of modern society’s overstimulating effect on HSP brains. Nature is perfect for mental grounding

Calming sensory experience: Nature is full of sensory stimuli but not in an overwhelming way. Many sensitive kids, with their high awareness and quick reactions, appreciate the textures and smells of nature, like the soft crunch of the leaves underfoot, the light breeze playing through your hair, and the distant chirping of the birds.

Better mood: Being active helps our bodies create more endorphins, the “feel good” hormones. So physical activity can be especially beneficial for children prone to anxiety.

More physical activity and self-confidence: Spending time in nature often involves a lot of physical activity, such as digging, exploring, hiking, biking, walking, or simply playing outside. Physical activity and unstructured outdoor play help kids clear their minds, and it also helps boosts confidence (“Will I be able to climb that hill or jump that rock?”, “Yeey, I did it!”).

How to Enjoy Outdoor Time with Sensitive Children

Sensitive children are a joy to be around, but their tendency to go into overdrive can make you think twice about trying anything new or intense.

Fortunately, with some extra awareness, you can definitely enjoy time outdoors with a sensitive child. So, here are our tips:

Do less, enjoy more. It’s best to choose simple activities: a short hike, a picnic, or a trip to the beach is always a safer option for sensitive children. Intense physical or sensory activities or a full-packed day can easily lead to a meltdown similar to those after school.

Also, sensitive children hate feeling in a hurry. So, if you give the impression that you’re in a rush (when hiking, for instance), that’ll be a cue for your sensitive child to slow down. So, take it slow and make it feel like you have nothing but time.

It’s about moving freely. Sensitive children put constant effort into following rules, being on their best behavior at school, and navigating the social scene. So, free, unstructured play outdoors after school and on weekends can be an effective way for them to decompress and get back in touch with their needs. Ideally, go for child-invented, child-paced, child-directed activities that allow kids to explore and parents to sit back and relax.

It’s easier to prevent than to manage big feelings. Ensure your child has many short breaks and that you balance high-energy activities with quiet time. Also, offer healthy snacks and plenty of liquids.

Each of us plays a different role in the family. For example, sensitive children may avoid sensory-intense, sporty, or scary activities (my daughter hates skating and is afraid of heights, for example). But they may like more artsy endeavors, like taking pictures of the others doing the scary sporty stuff. That’s fine, we are different, and we each play a different role in our families.

If you must do a family activity that everyone enjoys except your sensitive child, it’s best to make your HSP kiddo feel appreciated and look for a way to include them that doesn’t make them feel like they’re “less than’ (“I know you don’t enjoy long bike rides, but I’m glad that we’re all here. Please tell me if you need more breaks.”)

Step out of your comfort zone. Don’t be afraid of getting your child from their comfort zone at times. But also try to see things from their perspective – and do activities that your kid wants (meaning you’ll need to step out of your comfort zone, too):

• “I know you hate rafting. But what if we all do this right now, and you decide on the activity tomorrow?”
• “What if we make a list of outdoor activities and take turns choosing something so everybody gets to do what they like?”

Remind your child how proud they will be when they’ve done something they were afraid to:

• “Remember when you learned to swim? You were so proud of yourself. Think how proud you’ll be when you do this on your own.”
• “You haven’t needed any help at all until now. How does it feel?”

14 Outdoor Sensory Activities for Sensitive Children

Here are some outdoor sensory activities that sensitive kids may enjoy:

• Nature Scavenger Hunt: Encourage your child to use their senses to find objects like leaves, flowers, and pinecones.
• Leaf Rubbing: Place a piece of paper over a leaf and have your child use a pencil to rub over it.
• Sound Map: Listen to the sounds of the woods, then draw a map showing where different sounds came from.
• Nature Painting: Use natural materials like mud or berries to paint on tree bark or rocks.
• Nature Bracelets: Use tape or string to create bracelets decorated with items you found in nature, like leaves and flowers.
• Smell Bottles: Collect small containers with pine leaves, flowers, or tree moss and have children identify and describe each smell.
• Texture Walk: Walk barefoot on grass, sand, or mud and feel the different textures.
• Nature Collage: Use items found in nature to create a collage, feeling the different textures of each item.
• Blindfolded Walk: Blindfold your child and have them walk through the woods, relying on their other senses to guide them (and on you, of course).
• Nature Shadow Tracing: Trace the shadow of natural objects with chalk or crayons.
• Nature necklaces: Make necklaces with natural materials such as acorns or seashells, feeling the textures of each item.
• Bark Rubbing: Use crayons or pencils to rub the bark of different trees.
• Nature Weaving: Use natural materials such as grass or leaves to weave a small mat or basket, feeling the textures of each material.
• Pinecone Exploration: Have your child collect and explore pinecones, feel, and observe the texture and shape of each pinecone.

11 Backyard Activities for Sensitive Children during Summer

• Sensory Garden: Plant a sensory garden with different scents and textures, such as herbs, flowers, and vegetables.
• Outdoor Music: Play music outside for children to dance and move to. You can also play freeze dance.
• Bird Watching: Set up bird feeders and watch birds come and go.
• Outdoor Reading: Provide a cozy reading nook outside for children to read and relax in.
• Picnic: Have a picnic outside, enjoying the sights and sounds of nature.
• Sensory Wind Chimes: Create wind chimes with various materials such as shells, beads, and metal pieces for children to listen to.
• Outdoor Movie Night: Set up a movie projector outside for children to watch and enjoy under the stars.
• Sensory Walk: Create a sensory walk by placing different textures such as stepping stones, grass, sand, rubber mats, and hula hoops for children to walk on.
• Evening sensory light play: Use colored lights to create a sensory experience for children to explore.
• Chalk Drawing: Use chalk to draw on the driveway or sidewalk, allowing children to express their creativity and feel the texture of the chalk.
• Mud Kitchen: Create a small kitchen area where children can play with mud and other natural materials, feeling the texture and consistency of each item.
• Yoga: Practice yoga poses and stretches outside in the morning or before bedtime.
• Evening family game: Create a tradition by playing a fun family game outside on summer evenings. It can be a board game, charades, or anything else the family enjoys.

We hope that these tips and activities will help when your child needs an outdoor break. But, even if sometimes “outdoor fun” means something different for you and your kiddo, what matters most is spending time together and creating memories.

Does your five-year-old still have toilet accidents?

Does your six-year-old refuse to wipe without help?

While it can worry parents, many highly sensitive children struggle with toilet training. You are not alone, even if parents don’t discuss this openly.

A highly sensitive child can find toilet learning difficult due to sensory issues. Fortunately, there’s a lot you can do to help.

In this article, you’ll learn:

Sensitivity is different from Sensory Processing Disorder

But first, you should know the difference between being highly sensitive and having sensory processing disorder (SPD). That’s important because it helps you understand when to ask for professional help.

Sensitivity is a neutral character trait that 1 in 3 people have, while SPD is a neurological condition requiring professional help.

Sensitivity involves heightened sensitivity to emotional and sensory stimuli. Highly sensitive people are more aware of their surroundings and process things deeply. As a result, they absorb a lot of information which can overwhelm them quickly. But they will feel better once in a quiet place away from overstimulation.

SPD is a medical condition that affects how the brain receives and processes messages from our senses. It affects about 5 to 16 percent of children, according to experts. It is not a diagnosis in the Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), but there is debate over this topic. Instead, it is one symptom of autism specter disorder and other developmental disorders.

In children with SPD, the brain has trouble processing sensory information. As a result, they usually need OT help to learn how to process sensory information to cope with everyday challenges. On the other hand, sensitivity is a neutral trait that shouldn’t impact the quality of life.

If you feel like your child misses out on opportunities because of their sensory differences, you should consider seeking professional help.

Why does a highly sensitive child have trouble toilet training?

A sensitive child can have trouble toilet training mainly due to sensory difficulties, anxiety, and resistance to change.

Both sensitive and SPD kids have sensory differences that can make toilet learning more difficult. Therefore, it’s crucial to know to which of the senses your child is most sensitive and whether they seek or avoid stimuli.

Highly sensitive kids are usually sensory-avoidant. Many struggle with bright noises, artificial lights, strong smells, and certain textures.

How the eight senses affect toilet training

We have eight senses: touch, sound, taste, sight, smell, vestibular, proprioception, and interoception. All of them can make toilet training more challenging for a sensitive child.

• Touch sensitivity. A child with touch sensitivity may prefer the parent to wipe them. They may also avoid wiping and like to use a bidet instead. Moreover, they hate getting their hands messy, washing with soap, and they may struggle with the toilet seat’s cold feeling. They may also like taking off all their clothes before using the toilet.
• Sound sensitivity. A sensitive child can fear toilet flushing (especially automatic flushing) and automatic hand dryers. Public restrooms can also be overwhelming, with different people constantly going in and out. In addition, the child might get distracted by the sound of the bathroom fan.
• Sight sensitivity. Your child might dislike the bright neon lights in the bathroom and brightly colored or cluttered rooms.
• Smell sensitivity. These kids may dislike the artificial fragrance of cleaning supplies in the bathroom and the smell of poo and pee.
• Taste sensitivity. Kids with taste sensitivity are picky eaters. But eating only certain foods can lead to constipation and tummy aches, making a child avoid bowel movements as much as possible. Read more about picky eaters here and in this article.
• Vestibular sensitivity. Vestibular sensitivity refers to movement and balance sensitivity. For example, your child may feel like they can fall off the toilet seat or dislike having their feet hanging if the toilet seat is too high. Additionally, they can feel uncomfortable when reaching for the paper and self-wipe.
• Proprioception sensitivity. The proprioceptive sense is about awareness of our body’s position in space. For example, a child with poor proprioception may have difficulty making themselves comfortable on the toilet seat.
• Interoception sensitivity. Kids with poor interoception may not feel when it’s time to use the toilet until it’s too late, or they can’t tell if they’ve finished. In addition, they may have had a negative potty-training experience or painful bowel movements and are now afraid of going through that again.

Non-sensory reasons why a highly sensitive child dislikes toilet learning

Sensitive children may dislike toilet training for other reasons apart from sensory sensitivities. For starters, they dislike change. So, they may be used to wearing a diaper, considering they’ve worn one their entire lives, and don’t see any reason to give it up.

Additionally, sensitive children tend to worry a lot. So, one of the biggest challenges during toilet training is the possibility of accidents. When accidents happen, your child can feel so embarrassed that they might enter a cycle of anxiety and avoidance. That’s why it’s best to stay at home as much as possible during the toilet training process and make plans for using the bathroom when you’re out and about. It’s also crucial to remain understanding because sensitive kids need more time and encouragement than their peers.

Additionally, toilet accidents may lower a child’s self-esteem. That can make them develop defensive behaviors to protect them from shame and embarrassment. For example, they may become stubborn or aggressive when using the bathroom comes up. Alternatively, they might blame others for their accidents, deny that they happened, act like nothing happened when they soil themselves and refuse to discuss the issue. These behaviors show that the child is having a hard time – they are not giving parents a hard time on purpose – and it’s essential to provide reassurance and choices.

Try to prioritize toilet training. Toilet training is not easy, so adjust your daily routine to make time for it. For example, try to be at home after school as much as possible to ensure your child can get toilet trained in the comfort of their home. Otherwise, there’s a high chance both of you will get frustrated when it doesn’t go as expected.

Involve your child by giving choices: Do you want to be alone in the bathroom or me to stay with you? Do you want me to turn off the bathroom fan or not? Would you like to read a book or play with a toy? Do you like this aiming sticker or the other one? Do you want to flush, or shall I do it?

Repetition is key. Children struggling with high sensory awareness can become less sensitive to certain stimuli through gradual exposure and lots of repetition.

21 tips for toilet training a highly sensitive child

Here is a list of toilet training tips for children with sensory issues:

• Use comfort items. Let your child hold a comfort toy while on the toilet.
• Sensory-friendly toilet seat. A padded toilet seat can be more comfortable for children who dislike the cold feeling of the toilet seat (for instance, when the seasons change).
• Bidet. Consider installing a bidet if your child doesn’t like wiping.
• Comfortable toilet paper and baby wipe warmer. Consider purchasing the most comfortable toilet paper, soft tissues, or a baby wipe warmer.
• Underwear material and seams. As your child goes from pull-ups to underwear, check whether seams are an issue. Try to pay attention to seam placement and opt for soft material.
• Let them choose what underwear to buy. Suggest underwear with your child’s favorite cartoon characters or seamless underwear and buy lots of it.
• Soft lighting. Ensure the lights are not very bright (consider warm light bulbs at home and sunglasses at public restrooms).
• Declutter: avoid clutter in the bathroom (like lots of toys on the bathtub and colorful towels) if your child has visual sensitivity. Avoid also having a laundry basket without a lid in the bathroom.
• Give a warning before flushing. Tell your child when it’s time to flush, or you can flush after they’ve left the room. Consider also noise-canceling headphones or stickers to cover the sensor for public toilets that flush automatically.  
• Music. Try soft or upbeat music, depending on what your child enjoys.
• Turn off the bathroom fan if the noise is too distracting.
• Use essential oil diffusers.
• Cleaning supplies. Avoid strong-smelling cleaning supplies or keeping supplies in the bathroom.
• Foot support. Use a step or stool for your child to put their feet on.
• Handrail. Try a handrail for your child to hang on to when sitting on the toilet.
• Toddler potty. Potties are closer to the ground and fit smaller bottoms. Try various toddler potty designs for kids who don’t like the feeling of their feet hanging when seated on the toilet.
• Wipe while standing. Teach your child to wipe while standing if they have balance problems.
• Use tape or stickers for aiming. For boys, use tape or funny stickers so they know where to stand.
• Visual aids. For kids with interoceptive sensitivity, use visual reminders and timers to know it’s time to check whether they need to use the bathroom.
• Talk about toilet cues. Talk about how their body feels when they need to use the bathroom (“How does your tummy feel five minutes after drinking a glass of water? Do you think you need to use the bathroom?”, “How does your tummy feel when you sit on your tummy for a long time? Is it like when you need to pee?”)
• Have a bathroom box of books, fidget toys, and activities that can help increase your child’s time on the toilet.

Remember to keep a neutral attitude and praise small wins. When a preschooler withholds poop, refuses to wipe, or has frequent accidents, it becomes incredibly stressful for both the child and the parents. The answer is to see the problem through your child’s lens. Your child’s feelings are real. Shaming and pressure to “just do it” would make the experience scarier and more frustrating.

It’s essential not to be hard on yourself. Whenever you feel like giving up or snapping at your child, tell yourself, “I’m doing the best I can, and my child is doing the best they can.”

Summer breaks mean no morning rush, overstimulating classroom environment, and no after-school meltdowns.

It sounds great, right?

Well, summer breaks are not that great, actually.

Having kids at home all summer can be challenging for all families, but this is especially true if you have an emotional and sensory-sensitive child. Summer can be challenging for a highly sensitive child: loss of daily routine, many exciting (or maybe overwhelming) activities, hot weather, visiting new places, and meeting new people or people they haven’t seen in a long time.

That means plenty of transitions and surprise changes in plans which are stressful for more sensitive children.

In this guide, you’ll find:

Key Tips to Help A Highly Sensitive Child During the Holidays

Give your child time to warm up. Highly sensitive children are slow to warm up. So it helps to talk to them about upcoming trips, road trips, summer camps, and other changes to your daily schedule.

Moreover, meeting the teacher or trainer at their upcoming camp can help them get used to the environment.

Related: How to Encourage an Overly Cautious Child

Avoid having too many activities in one day. Sensitive kids need their downtime, and having too much to do can make them refuse to participate, hate the trip, become grumpy, and ruin everyone’s mood.

Know your child’s triggers. Before we go on, it’s important to note that Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) and sensitivity (being an HSP) are different. But regardless of how SPD and HSP kids process stimuli, both can have difficult behaviors because of sensory triggers and benefit from healthy coping skills. That’s why we are going to talk here about sensory triggers.

Some kids can be sensory avoidant, and others can be sensory seekers. Additionally, the same kid can dislike touch (avoidant) but crave vestibular input (seeker). Others HSP kids are less sensitive to sensory stimuli but are intense emotionally. Knowing these details is essential in deciding what coping tools to choose.

Sensory-avoidant kids get overwhelmed easily and need frequent quiet breaks. Sensory-avoidant children also struggle with changes in their routines. Constant sensory overstimulation and lack of schedule (which often happens on summer vacation) can make them go into fight or flight mode. Unpredictability can also make them more inflexible, withdrawn, intolerant to frustration, defiant and increase the need for control.

Sensory-seeking children crave sensory input. For instance, they need fidget toys to calm down. They can even become hyper without enough breaks. Constant overstimulation, like on long summer trips or camps, can lead to challenging behaviors and outbursts.

Related: How To Calm an Overstimulated HSC Who Has Trouble Sitting Still

How to Spot Subtle Signs of Overstimulation

Sometimes it’s not easy to see that a highly sensitive child is overstimulated. For example, they can appear calm when actually, they’ve withdrawn like a turtle in their shell. Or, they seem cheerful when in fact, they are hyper.

Here are some subtle signs of overstimulation:

Acting silly around unfamiliar people or situations

Acting silly can be a sign of big feelings. Using potty words in public can also be a sign of anxiety that your child can’t hide.

That can happen when you meet people the child hasn’t seen in a long time, you visit new places, or when anticipating a big event (like a Disneyland trip or a visit to relatives the child hasn’t met).

Asking repeatedly for impossible things

Imagine you are on holiday and have walked a lot on foot all day. Everybody’s tired. Your highly sensitive child, who is on the verge of overstimulation, might ask the same question on and on, like, “Will you buy me that toy that we’ve talked about?” Of course, they know the answer is no, but they are probably looking for an excuse to let their big feelings out. It’s as if they want the meltdown to happen because they’ll feel better afterward.

Becoming either fidgety or withdrawn

Sensory seekers who start feeling dysregulated might suck their collars or various toys, put fingers in their mouths, or fidget around. That’s because sensory input helps their nervous system calm down. That is a sign that you must remove them from the situation and help them rebalance. According to experts, highly sensitive individuals calm down and are able to concentrate once the source of overstimulation is gone (that’s a key difference between sensitivity and ADHD).

Sensory avoiders can become withdrawn when they don’t feel comfortable anymore. Imagine you’ve signed up your child for summer art classes, and it’s your child’s first day. Your child may be a little emotional and start acting silly. The art teacher politely draws their attention to be quiet. But that’s enough for your child to go into freeze mode and become withdrawn.

When you see these signs of overstimulation, it helps to implement coping strategies:

• have a chat with your child in a quiet space, away from the stimuli
• carry small fidget toys in your purse
• offer a healthy snack (something crunchy if your child is a sensory seeker)
• use humor
• breathing exercises
• give your child their noise-canceling headphones
• remind your child of a happy memory, or plan something fun after the stressful event.

Read along to find more coping strategies and ideas.

How to Prepare for Summer Breaks with A Highly Sensitive Child

1. Adjust your expectations

You will probably be unable to do what most families do, which is okay. Everybody’s different; we must do what’s best for our families and us.

The faster you accept your child for who they are, focus on their strengths, and adjust to their challenges, the easier it will be to enjoy your time together during the holidays.

2. Create a routine

It helps to create a weekly and daily routine for the summer, considering your child’s strengths and challenges. Highly sensitive children thrive on routine, so creating a summer schedule can help them feel more secure and in control. Plan daily activities, such as meal times, playtime, and outdoor time, and follow a consistent schedule.

It helps to discuss the weekly schedule in advance and then give reminders each morning about what you have planned for the day. You can even put a weekly routine on the refrigerator so everyone can see it and discuss it at mealtime.

If you don’t have a predictable routine, your child will likely fight you over trivial things, like getting dressed and leaving the house (or the hotel if you are on vacation).

Related: Why Transitions Are Tough for Your Deeply Feeling Child

3. Plan low-key activities

Highly sensitive children may become overwhelmed by too much stimulation, so it’s essential to plan daily activities that are calming and soothing. That may include reading, drawing, building with legos, doing puzzles, baking, or listening to music.

You can plan daily outdoor activities in the morning and quiet time at home in the afternoon.

4. Explore sensory-friendly activities

Look for outdoor activities that are relaxing and sensory-friendly, like:

• feeding the birds
• taking a picnic
• grow a small garden
• playing at the beach
• hiking the local trails
• bike rides
• playing tourist in your own town.

Here are also some indoor ideas for the summer break:

• finger painting
• making slime
• lavender-scented home-made play dough
• creating a sensory bin
• dancing
• stage a play.

Avoid activities that may be overwhelming or triggering for your highly sensitive child, such as crowded events or noisy environments. When you can’t avoid it, make sure you have noise canceling-headphones and that you find a quiet space where you can take short breaks for your child to recharge.

5. Create a quiet corner (or sensory toolbox for summer trips)

Having a quiet corner or tent to which your sensitive child has exclusive access (no siblings allowed) can help them feel more in control when things get chaotic around the house. Talk to your child about what to have in their quiet space:

• calming lights
• a quiet area for drawing and painting
• weighted blankets
• sensory toys, like fidget spinners, sensory jars, lavender-scented playdough
• legos
• audiobooks
• picture books
• posters with words of affirmation
• bean bag
• stuffed toys.

A sensory toolbox (you can use a backpack instead) can also help your child better regulate on your road trips.

6. Set consistent boundaries

Highly sensitive children may worry if they feel they have no control over their environment. Setting clear boundaries can help them with emotional regulation and prevent outbursts. That may include setting limits on screen time or enforcing quiet time in the afternoon.

• “I understand that you want to watch more TV, but we need to limit our screen time to have time for other activities. So let’s choose another activity to do together.”
• “I know you want to keep playing with your friends, but it’s time to come inside now. We can plan another playdate soon.”

Also, boundaries around nighttime routine are essential for sensitive children because they need a lot of rest, especially when the next day will be packed full of activities (“I understand you want to stay up late, but getting enough rest is important to feel your best tomorrow. So let’s agree on a bedtime that works for both of us.”)

7. Explore new things together

While highly sensitive children may be hesitant to try new things, introducing them to new activities can help expand their interests and develop new skills. Try to choose low-key activities, such as nature walks or art classes.

Here’s how you can encourage them to try something new:

• “I know trying new things can be scary, but it can also be exciting! So let’s take it one step at a time and see how it goes. I’ll be here if you need my help.”
• “It’s okay to feel nervous about meeting new kids. So let’s brainstorm some things you can talk about.”
• “It’s okay to feel worried about this. It’s something that you haven’t tried before. But it’s also an opportunity to learn something new, and you can talk about it with your friends back home. So if you feel overwhelmed, let me know, and we can take a break together.”
• “Let’s set a goal together: that you’ll try one new activity when we go to the water park. Let me show you the water park website and what activities you can choose.”

8. Practice self-care

Raising a sensitive child can be emotionally draining, so prioritizing self-care is crucial. Make time for activities that help you recharge, such as spending time with friends, exercise, mindfulness, yoga and meditation.

Related: HSP Parents, Let Go of Toxic Guilt Now

7 Summer Must-Haves for A Highly Sensitive Child

The hot summer months can be stressful for a highly sensitive child because of the heat. Here are some must-have items that can help your child feel more comfortable during the summer months:

• Sun hats with wide brims: Many sensory-sensitive children are sensitive to bright light, and a wide-brimmed hat can relieve the sun’s glare.
• Lightweight, breathable clothing: Children sensitive to the touch may find heavy or scratchy fabrics uncomfortable. Opting for light, breathable clothing made from natural fibers can help keep them cool and comfortable.
• Cooling vests: For children who struggle with regulating their body temperature, a cooling vest can be a lifesaver during hot summer days. These vests help keep the body cool and prevent overheating.
• Sensory-friendly swimwear: Swimwear can be challenging for children with sensory issues. Look for suits that are made from soft, stretchy fabric and don’t have any scratchy tags or seams.
• Sunglasses: Like a wide-brimmed hat, sunglasses can help protect sensitive eyes from bright sunlight. Look for sunglasses that provide 100% UV protection and have a comfortable fit.
• Water play toys: Many sensory-sensitive children find water play calming. Consider investing in toys like water tables, sprinklers, and water balloons to help your child stay calm and entertained during summer.
• Noise-canceling headphones: Loud noises like fireworks, lawnmowers, and other summer sounds can overwhelm some children with sensory issues. Noise-canceling headphones can help reduce sensory overload and provide a sense of calm.

Summer Camp Ideas for A Highly Sensitive Child

Summer camps are an excellent way for your child to learn to adapt to new environments and meet new people. And they are also a perfect way for parents to take a break and do much-needed self-care.

As new experiences can be scary for a highly sensitive child, you’ll need to carefully choose the type of summer camp that best suits your child and prepare them for what it will be like there.

First, start by thinking about your child’s interests:

• Are they artistic?
• Are they ready to play team sports? Are they very competitive and get upset when they don’t win?
• Do they like animals or are afraid of them?
• What summer camps have their friends chosen? Does your child want to go with their friends to summer camp?
• Does your child’s school organize a summer camp? If your child likes school, they may enjoy going on summer camp with the school staff.

Afterward, consider whether your child can handle a sleep-away camp. If they haven’t been on summer camp before, it helps to start slow. So, a half-day camp might be a safer option.

Here are a few types of camps that are suitable for a highly sensitive child:

• Nature camps: Sensitive children often feel overwhelmed by too much stimulation. That’s why a nature camp can be a great option. Look for centers that offer activities like hiking, fishing, or camping and that take place in a calm, quiet setting.
• Art camps: Many sensitive children are creative so an art camp can be a good fit. Look for centers that offer a variety of art activities, such as drawing, painting, and sculpting, and that have a calm, relaxed atmosphere.
• Music camps: Sensitive children often like music so a music camp can be a good fit. Look for centers that offer individual or small-group lessons and opportunities to play with other musicians.
• Animal lover camps: Many sensitive children have a deep connection to animals. In addition, animals can help kids increase confidence and social skills, so a summer camp for animal-loving kids can be a good fit. Look for centers that offer opportunities to interact with animals, such as horseback riding, petting zoos, or wildlife camps.
• Mindfulness training and yoga camps: Mindfulness is an essential coping mechanism for sensitive children in an increasingly stressful world. These camps are usually for older kids (+9 years). However, nature camps, which are also for younger kids, can also incorporate mindfulness and yoga activities into their programs.

How to Enjoy Long Road Trips with A Highly Sensitive Child

1. Plan frequent breaks

Long car rides can be challenging for sensory children, so it’s essential to plan frequent breaks to stretch, move around, and take a break from the car. For instance, you can stop at parks along the way.

2. Pack sensory-friendly items

Bring items that can help your sensory child feel more comfortable during the car ride. Here are some ideas:

• headphones or earplugs to block out noise
• popper toys
• crayons
• coloring books
• notebooks
• an LCD drawing tablet
• water painting books
• toy tubes
• a weighted blanket
• a compression vest
• chewing gum
• sensory jars or sensory trays.

You might also prepare a surprise box with sweet treats, trinkets, and a cheap camera you can purchase from garage sales. Kids love taking photos!

3. Provide visual aids

Give your child visual aids to help them understand the journey and what to expect. That may include a map of the route or a visual schedule of the trip. You could even give your child an actual paper map and let them follow along the route with their toy car. Then, highlight the route on their map with a marker and mark the stops so your child knows how far there is to go.

4. Create a calm environment

Try to play calming music and audio stories, or bring a favorite stuffed animal or blanket.

5. Play games

Make the car ride fun by playing games. Try to include:

• verbal games (“I spy,” “Two Truths and a Lie,” “Five Senses,” “the “Alphabet Game)
• sing-along challenges,
• a sensory scavenger hunt (fill a Ziploc bag with rice and tiny treasures and have the kids find the prizes).

Related: How to Have a Fun Road Trip with Your HSC

Despite the difficulties of organizing a summer schedule that everyone in the family can enjoy, you should still take the time to discuss with your family and come up with a plan.

Creating a daily routine and planning your summer trips could make a big difference in your highly sensitive child’s behavior.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on preparing for the kids’ summer break.

According to research, 1 in 4 children has eating problems during the early years, up to 80% for kids with developmental challenges.

You have probably been hoping the fussiness will subside as your child grows up. But, unfortunately, that’s not true.

Kids aged 5 through 8 have a Healthy Eating Index Score (HEI) of just 55, out of 100, according to the Dietary Guidelines for Americans for 2020-2025. This index hits the minimum for the 14-18 age range (HEI of 51). One explanation is that children rely less on their parents for food and snacks as they grow. Instead, they will eat more outside of the home. That means peers will significantly influence your kid’s eating and drinking habits.

Moreover, dietary patterns set between 2 and 18 tend to continue into adulthood. An unhealthy diet during childhood increases the risk of obesity and chronic disease. For instance, one in three kids aged 2 to 19 is overweight or obese. The percentages are even higher for adults. That’s why instilling healthy eating habits from a young age is essential.

But how can you convince your picky eater HSC to have a varied diet?

First, let’s cover the basics.

How much does a child eat?

Many parents think that fussy eaters starve. Is it true? Well, yes and no.

Girls aged 5 through 8 need 1,200-1,800 calories per day, and boys require 1,200-2,000 calories, as per the Dietary Guidelines for Americans (2020-2025).

Try to compare the calorie requirements in the table below with what your child eats.

Statistics show that most US kids get the required daily calorie intake. However, they don’t eat their veggies and whole grains. So, rest assured that you are not the only parent having to convince your picky eater to have a varied diet.

What causes fussy eating

Growing independence. As kids grow and become more independent, they start avoiding certain foods. Food rejections in kids follow some common patterns at certain ages:

• Toddlers tend to avoid veggies
• Preschoolers dislike some textures (too mushy, too chewy), so they tend to avoid certain vegetables (like mushrooms)
• School-aged kids (7-9) still avoid certain food textures, but less than they used to.
• The 10-12 age range is more likely to eat what you serve but will still reject certain foods. That is because their food preferences are more clearly defined.

However, some kids remain selective eaters all through adulthood. There may be many causes: personal preferences, sensory sensitivities, and family eating habits.

Tactile sensitivity (high sensitivity to touch). Food aversions may be from increased sensitivity to touch. That can make textures and food temperature intolerable. Your fussy eater HSC could avoid particular foods if this is the case. Or, they may refuse to eat foods with more than one texture, like walnut muffins and cereal with milk. Also, children with tactile defensiveness might refuse to eat at other people’s houses.

Problems eating vegetables are more common in kids with tactile defensiveness.

High sensitivity to touch can also make your kid hate brushing teeth, bite their cheeks and inner lips while eating, refuse to wear certain clothes because of the tags, seams, or fabrics, and avoid hair brushing and cutting nails. 

Sensitive proprioceptive sensory system. Your fussy eater HSC may prefer soft foods if they have a proprioceptive system that is overly sensitive.  Moreover, kids with oral hypersensitivity can also avoid foods with different textures.

If their proprioceptive system is under-responsive, your fussy eater HSC may prefer crunchy or chewy foods and enjoy smoothies and milkshakes. If your child is like this, they can dislike soft foods because they are too mushy.

More taste buds. Some people naturally have more taste buds, which makes them experience taste more strongly. For example, they may be sensitive to certain flavors and prefer a bland diet. More taste buds also mean more pain receptors on the tongue. As a result, they may be particularly sensitive to hot foods and spicy flavors.

Related: How To Deal With Your Picky Eater HSC

Tips for a fussy eater HSC

1. Get your fussy eater HSC involved

Kids are more likely to eat meals that they have helped prepare. Here are some suggestions:

• Wash produce
• Tear lettuce
• Crack eggs
• Add and scoop ingredients
• Mashed potatoes
• Shape dough
• Put ingredients on the pizza dough
• Measure liquids
• Stir the batter
• Cut vegetables and fruits with a dull knife
• Help prepare sandwiches
• Beat eggs
• Wipe table
• Set the table.

You can also get your child involved by taking them shopping and deciding together on new ingredients or dishes that you can add to your family meals.

2. Have family meals as often as you can

There’s no better way to convince your sensitive child than to model behavior. Have a family meal schedule, and make meals pleasant with limited distractions. Also, mealtime should not be an opportunity for discussing challenging behavior and homework.

3. Respect the eating habits of your fussy eater HSC

Everyone has their quirks about eating. For example, kids may prefer bread without crusts or pasta with just a little sauce; they may devour an omelet today but not tomorrow.

Understanding that your child may respond to the same foods differently on various days is crucial.

4. Limit juice and milk

If your child consumes too many calories from juice, soda, or milk, they can refuse to eat meals. Consequently, try to offer no more than 24 ounces of milk and four ounces of juice daily.

Specialists don’t recommend soda as it has no nutrients.

5. Don’t offer dessert as a bribe to your fussy eater HSC

You do not need to offer dessert every day. However, when dessert is available, consider the following ideas:

• If you make your child eat an entire meal before dessert, they may be full but will likely eat the dessert anyway. That is not healthy.
• If your child refuses to eat, not giving them dessert is not the answer. Instead, your child will learn to value sweet treats above nutritious foods, which can alter eating patterns for life.

6. Mix food they love with new foods (gradually)

You can add new foods discreetly to the food your child likes. For instance, you may add carrot puree to tomato sauce.

This strategy is called palette priming. It is a feeding therapy tactic where you slowly and progressively something to food your child already accepts. As a result, your kid’s palate adapts, and they don’t notice because it happens very gradually.

7. Reduce sensitivity to touch

If you suspect your kid is a fussy eater because of sensory issues, you can try to reduce touch sensitivity by offering touch pressure and increasing proprioceptive input.

Once kids reach 6, you need their commitment so that they start trying new foods, mainly if they are more sensory sensitive. It just won’t happen by forcing or distracting them.

Here are some activities that your sensory-sensitive picky eater can try:

• Sucking a milkshake through a straw
• Chewing crunchy snacks
• Playing with fidget toys.

8. Offer new foods 8-10 times before deciding your fussy eater HSC hates them

Offering the same type of food multiple times, in various forms, or prepared in different ways can help them accept more food groups. For example, kids may dislike cooked vegetables but eat the raw version. Or, children may only eat fruit cut into bite-sized pieces.

Even with these tactics, it may take up to 8-10 exposures before a child accepts a new food, according to the Dietary Guidelines for Americans 2020-2025.

Also, avoid offering only foods that your child will eat. If they don’t like the meal you have prepared, it’s okay. There will be another meal or snack in a few hours, and they should be able to wait until then. When children are hungry because they choose not to eat, they are more likely to eat what you offer next time.

9. Offer an ice chip before meals

If sensory issues cause problems with certain textures or flavors, it helps some kids to eat ice chips before a meal, slightly numbing their taste buds, so the flavor isn’t so intense.

10. Mindful eating

Mindful eating is a grounding technique for easing anxiety. But it can also help if your child has sensory issues and eating something new makes them anxious.

Encourage your kid to use all their senses at mealtime. You can appeal to their senses by making the food look yummy or fun, letting them touch the food with their hands, encouraging them to smell before tasting, biting, or chewing, and then spitting the food out. They will eventually swallow it and decide if they like it or not.

11. Support your child’s need to have a sense of control

As parents, we worry about our fussy eaters not eating enough healthy food. Then, we start to nag, try to control, or bribe them. However, all those tactics make children lose trust. Worse, their relationship with food turns sour, and they can develop unhealthy eating habits.

Autonomy is crucial for your child to have healthy eating habits. So try to avoid power struggles unless it’s for safety concerns.