Have you had a road trip experience that has left your HSC (highly sensitive child) and the other family members feeling depleted? As a parent raising an HSC, you have probably had your share of travel overwhelm. Think of the long hours in your car, traffic, disrupted routine, uncomfortable hotel bed mattresses, strange hotel room smells, and irregular meals. That’s a recipe for an HSC meltdown!
And yet, it’s possible to enjoy a road trip with your HSC if you learn to work with, not against, your HSC’s gifts and challenges. Your family can have a great trip with careful planning and opportunities to decompress the HSC way.
1. Capitalize on your HSC’s strengths
The first step to building your action plan for a fun trip is to ask yourself four questions about your HSC:
What are your HSC’s gifts, and what do they enjoy?
HSCs love nature, pleasant sensory experiences, and kind people who don’t invade their personal space. Also, they enjoy alone time, good friends, meaningful conversations, and living at a slower pace.
They are empathetic but not when overstimulated.
Related: The 7 Hidden Gifts of Highly Sensitive Children
What are your HSC’s challenges?
Probably the most significant challenge for HSCs is that they get easily overstimulated.
Crowds and people with a lot of energy overwhelm them. Additionally, sensory stimulation is a frequent issue for HSCs (think of strange smells and constant noise).
Also, HSCs don’t like feeling criticized because it makes them feel rejected, and they have difficulty setting boundaries.
Last but not least, unforeseen changes are challenging.
Related: 9 Things You Should Never Say to Your Perceptive Child
What does your HSC need to regulate emotionally?
You probably know that HSCs are highly attached to their primary caregiver. They need frequent one-on-one time to regulate emotionally. Often, you are their leading play partner and favorite toy.
Your kid’s excessive reliance on you as their primary playmate stems from the fact that it’s hard for them to make new friends easily. Being selective about who they befriend isn’t a bad thing, but it can quickly become tiring and frustrating for you.
How do others react when your HSC is overwhelmed?
Family life can be challenging with HSC and non-HSC siblings. Your other kids might start labeling your sensitive child if your HSC whines frequently. Also, their emotional overwhelm can unsettle younger siblings, making a road trip with your HSC extremely complicated.
Moreover, all family members might feel frustrated when all of you want to do something new, like going to a new amusement park, and your HSC whines about hot temperatures, noise, and crowds.
That’s why you need to plan how to manage conflicts, so they don’t escalate and ruin everyone’s trip.
2. Include your HSC from the start in planning your road trip
The second step to a fun road trip with your HSC is discussing the details with your child.
Establish a memorable road trip purpose together with your HSC
Many families go on a road trip to have fun and visit family. While there’s nothing wrong with this, the actual gains for an HSC can go far beyond.
Sensitive children like to find meaning in their experiences. So, help them set a deeper purpose for the road trip beyond relaxation.
For instance, your HSC’s purpose might be to learn fun facts about the places you visit. And the best way to do that? Take a paper map, mark what’s interesting for your HSC and search for short videos that your HSC can listen to with their headphones while in the car. Using headphones can be a way for your HSC to escape the chatter in your vehicle.
Alternatively, your HSC’s particular purpose can be greeting new people you meet on your way, like waiters, amusement park staff, and relatives you visit. Bold objective? Definitely. But with a good plan, you can make it happen. Be open to communication if your HSC gets overwhelmed by too much socializing.
Related: How to Support Your Shy HSC
Prepare your HSC for a several-hour drive
No matter how well you plan your trip, your HSC will need to cope with the unavoidable part of a road trip: being stuck in the car with the entire family for several consecutive hours.
You can draw a scale from 1 to 10 (or a color scale for younger kids) and ask your kid to give you a heads-up when their emotions go over the “5” threshold.
Unfortunately, you can’t support your HSC to regulate while driving (unless you stop), so consider comfort objects and relaxing activities: fidget toys, noise-canceling phones, a comfortable pillow, and listening to relaxing music.
Packing smart versus sticking with routines
Traveling light is practical but probably not for HSCs. They need personal items and routines to give them comfort.
Here are examples of items you might need to pack: noise-canceling headphones, a portable white noise machine for the hotel room, their favorite essential oil, favorite shampoo, a blanket, favorite breakfast, or snack.
3. Discuss everyone’s expectations on this road trip
Set behavior expectations. It’s best to discuss planning with all the kids before going on the road. That way, you can put some basic behavior expectations for the trip for when siblings go into conflict. Moreover, discussing what didn’t work well on your last holiday and what you can do differently this time is an excellent idea.
Make a list of things to see. You might draw a list of experiences, places, and foods everyone wants to try or see. Then, discuss what you have time to do.
Don’t do, do, do. Resist the urge to squeeze in activities and build peaceful moments for your HSC. For HSCs, traveling doesn’t mean the same as for other kids. They don’t want to see and try everything. On the contrary, they are usually okay with one exciting activity each day.
But if you must have a day packed full of new things to do, make sure to inform your sensitive child and plan short breaks in between activities.
Also, it’s best to allow your HSC to do what feels right for them. For example, all the family might enjoy snorkeling, while your HSC might prefer to play on the beach. There’s nothing wrong with that.
4. Plan for downtime on the road trip with your HSC
Can you drive directly to your destination, or does your HSC need breaks, and how often? What maximum driving per day did you do the last time without a stop?
How many short breaks does your HSC need?
Most of us plan as many activities as possible without leaving time to recover. However, HSCs need downtime. Otherwise, everybody will have a hard time.
HSCs usually need small breaks, so reaching your destination fast shouldn’t be a goal. Moreover, AAA recommends stopping every two hours or one hundred miles.
Find parks or places where kids can run
It’s best to discuss with your HSC how many breaks they will need while on the road. Then, study your paper map to see where you can stop to decompress, preferably park or open green fields where kids can run and play with a frisbee.
Make short walks in nature on the road trip with your HSC
Also, you could stop by to admire the beautiful scenery or have a short walk in the woods. Nature and meditation are great ways for your HSC to connect to their senses in a way that regulates their nervous system.
On the contrary, stopping at a gas station or stopping to buy supplies might not help an HSC with their need to escape overstimulation.
Alone time for your HSC
Your highly sensitive child might need alone time, so is it possible for them to be alone a couple of times a day? For example, a quiet break before bedtime might be a good idea. Also, bringing a journal for your HSC to jot down thoughts might help with emotional regulation.
5. Plan the return from your road trip with your HSC
Most of us get excited about the new things we’ll see on our trip. But we don’t give much thought to decompressing after the vacation ends. However, an HSC will need time to think about their experiences on the road. So, planning a day off from everyday life after the trip ends would be an excellent idea.
