Do you have a deeply feeling kid stuck in the potty humor phase? Then this article is for you.
A week ago, my son picked up his toy reindeer, looked it straight in the eye, and delivered the harshest insult his 6-year-old mind could muster. “Poopy head,” he greeted Rudolf and added, “pee-pee pants.” The sillier the word, the more hilarious he finds it, especially if there is an audience.
Toilet jokes are a terrific source of amusement for young kids. They make poop jokes in the classroom, on the playground, and, regrettably, even over dinner.
And it can drive parents a little crazy, mainly when used at the wrong time and place, like kids’ piano classes. Imagine, for example, your child farting along to Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.
So why do kids find potty humor to be so appealing? How are we supposed to interpret these jokes? And why it’s best to enjoy a daily dose of potty humor from your child.
Humor development in children
To understand why kids find poo jokes so funny you need to learn how humor develops. Sigmund Freud, a renowned psychologist, believed that humor develops through three stages: the play stage (children of 2-3 years), the jesting stage (4-6 years), and the joking stage (from 7 years onward).
A peek-a-boo game will keep a baby smiling for hours in the play stage. Later, as a toddler, your child can jiggle uncontrollably every time you put a sock on your ear because they have just learned to associate socks with feet.
There is a simple explanation behind this behavior. According to research, simple jokes amuse kids when they are about to reach a particular developmental milestone. Peek-a-boo, for example, is funny for babies who have not yet learned object permanence. Once your kid gets past a developmental milestone, however, the game is suddenly no longer funny.
The jesting stage then follows. Toilet humor is an excellent example of this. During this stage, children find shocking things to be the most hilarious. Children at this age find shocking things to be the funniest. And what causes a better reaction than poop jokes?
Your deeply feeling kid wants to make friends.
Saying potty jokes and clowning around can be a way of impressing other kids. Preschoolers haven’t mastered irony and sarcasm, so they can’t make more sophisticated jokes.
But when your kid talks potty in the middle of class, it becomes a behavior concern. It’s a challenging behavior because, despite getting negativefeedback, your kid may continue making bad jokes. In this case, observing behavior patterns and triggers is essential. In this case, you’ll need to see whether your kid masks insecurities (like learning differences, low impulse control, trouble with social skills, and anxiety) is essential.
Related: How to Help Your Deeply Feeling Child Set Emotional Boundaries
Your deeply feeling kid works through anxiety using potty humor.
From the age of five, children start becoming more socially aware. In addition, they fear not only ghosts and monsters but also failure and criticism. As a result, a deeply feeling kid with high self-awareness but struggling with social skills can get anxious when trying to make new friends.
So, when your inhibited child uses bathroom humor in public, ask yourself: Does my kid want to attract others’ attention but doesn’t know how?
The truth is that your kid probably does not want to upset you. They are genuinely nervous about approaching new kids. And you should be proud of them for being brave. They might navigate the social scene clumsily now, but telling jokes is better than shying away from social settings.
Try to see humor as a universal coping mechanism. Think about adults who use irony or jokes to hide feeling uncomfortable. It’s the same with deeply feeling kids. But since your child can’t make sophisticated jokes, they resort to plain old potty humor.
Your deeply feeling kid has underlying sensory issues.
The things children laugh at tell us give us clues on their current developmental milestone. That is a pattern that runs throughout childhood. For example, think of three-year-olds who are often still mastering toilet training. Three-year-olds find bathroom humor fascinating, while most eight-year-olds, who no longer consider toilet training an issue, think such jokes are just stupid.
However, sometimes children past toddlerhood return to the potty-talk phase because of sensory issues. For instance, if your school child hasn’t yet learned to wipe their butt on their own, and you insist on it, they might start using potty words to hide anxiety or shame.
Your deeply feeling kid wants your attention.
Another reason children find potty humor funny is to garner attention. As parents, though, we want to tame potty humor in public, so we shower them with negative attention. Think about how self-conscious you felt when your kid showed off their repertoire when you were waiting in line at Target, or when our in-laws came to visit.
Potty jokes are a way to test power against adults.
Children first learn that words have meaning before discovering that some terms have extraordinary power. Adults react to these words with secrecy and hush-hush. Our reaction, coupled with a solid sensory experience (like when using the bathroom), makes kids discover a new power. From the ages of three and above, kids like to assess their power against adults and are constantly testing authority. So unsurprisingly, they find it powerful to make adults laugh (awkwardly) at their potty jokes.
How to tackle potty humor
Some experts recommend you give choices and impose immediate consequences to flush potty talking. While these strategies might work to reduce the behavior, they can make you ignore the underlying issues with which a deeply feeling kid might struggle . So, here are our tips for these children:
Let them laugh but not offend people. Making jokes about farts and pee is a natural part of growing up. However, try to set some restrictions when your youngster is in the potty mouth stage. In our case, one reasonable boundary is that kids are not allowed to refer to other people as “butt heads” or “bum-bum heads.” Why? Because it’s hurtful. Making jokes is funny, but insulting people is not.
Setting such boundaries can help reduce your child’s anxiety while still following societal norms.
Enjoy a daily dose of potty humor from your child. Even if you can’t handle potty humor, remember that your child can still have fun telling jokes on the playground with their pals. Moreover, children benefit emotionally and socially from working on their sense of humor. Therefore, devote 15 minutes daily to goofing around, including telling potty jokes.
Nothing makes my son happier than when I laugh along with him at his jokes.
Have patience. When it comes to bathroom humor, patience is vital. Your child will grow out of this phase, as they have done with peek-a-boo and Cocomelon. Keep a positive attitude, and remember that jokes reduce anxiety!
References
- Christoff, Maria & Dauphin, Barry. (2017). Freud’s theory of humor. 10.1007/978-3-319-28099-8_588-1, https://www.researchgate.net/publication/317386267_Freud’s_theory_of_humor
- Young, Karen. “Phew! It’s Normal. An Age by Age Guide for What to Expect From Kids & Teens – And What They Need From Us”. Retrieved from https://www.heysigmund.com/developmental-stage/ on 23 November 2022.
