I’ve seen firsthand how anxiety can grip a child. It’s tough watching them wrestle with all the “what-ifs” and worry that come with it. That’s actually what fueled my passion for creating coping tools – anything to help kids navigate those anxious feelings.
Believe me, if there were a magic way to swap out my child’s anxieties for pure confidence, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Let’s be honest, anxiety isn’t exactly a stranger in my own life either (shocker, right?). So, when my child started struggling with it too, well, let’s just say my own anxiety went into overdrive.
One of the many amazing things about children with anxiety? They’re incredibly sensitive to the emotions around them. No matter how hard I tried to hide my own worries, my daughter would pick up on it like a superpower. And guess what? That just fed his anxiety even more. It became a cycle.
Around the time she was 5 or 6 years old, I read Dan Siegel’s and Tina Bryson’s book “The Whole-Brain Child”. They said that our brain has two parts – the rational brain and the emotional brain, and that in the emotional brain there a little, almond-shaped structure, called the amygdala. The amygdala helps us remain safe. It is where all our emotions come from, but sometimes when we have big emotions, the amygdala takes things too seriously and keeps us from thinking clearly. The good thing though, it that all emotions come and go.
When I told my kiddo that all emotions are normal, and that they come and go, I saw relief on her face. She resonated with this message (“All emotions come and go.”)
That’s not to say that my kiddo never felt anxious again. She’ll probably always struggle with anxiety due to her highly sensitive temperament. However, she learned to get through those big emotions faster. She felt more in charge of those uncomfortable feelings, knowing that they eventually fade away. Eventually, it became easier for her to say “I feel worried.”
If you feel that your child spends too much time worrying instead of enjoying their childhood like their friends do, if you feel that they are missing out on opportunities, then check out the Anxiety Bundle For Children. It has easy-to-follow activities for kids, and engaging calm cards and posters that you can print and hang in your child’s calm corner.
On top of making our little ones feel loved unconditionally, here are ten strategies that can help children with anxiety:
10 Ways Parents Can Help Highly Sensitive Children Manage Anxiety
1. Normalize All Emotions, Including Anxiety
As parents, it’s natural to want to shield our children from any discomfort. But anxiety, like all emotions, is a normal part of growing up. It can be a signal that your child is aware of their surroundings and cares deeply. Just like feeling happy or excited, anxiety serves a purpose, even if it feels unpleasant at times.
By acknowledging and validating kids’ anxious feelings, we create a safe space for open communication. Additionally, normalizing anxiety reduces feelings of shame: when a child sees their worries dismissed or minimized, they can feel ashamed for feeling that way.
2. Validate instead of dismissing worries
We all want to support our children and minimize their worries. However, sometimes phrases like “It’s all in your head” or “Don’t worry about it” can unintentionally make them feel dismissed.
Instead, let’s focus on validating their feelings and showing empathy. Saying something like, “I understand you’re feeling anxious right now, and that’s okay. It’s normal to feel worried sometimes” lets your child know their feelings are valid and you’re there to listen. Feeling that their voice matters is crucial for children with anxiety.
3. Build a coping strategies toolbox with different tools to try out
Creating a toolbox with lots of coping strategies allows children with anxiety to try out various tools and see what works for them. You can even keep track of what helps them.
If all this sounds a bit overwhelming, start here:
- Download My Calming Tools Poster, which you can print and hang in your child’s calm corner or on your fridge.
- Download for FREE the Coping Tools Tracker.
The most important thing to remember about emotional regulation coping tools is that we need to try them out when everyone’s calm.
4. Work on your relationship with your child everyday
In our busy world, carving out quality time with your child can feel like a luxury. But those moments of connection are more crucial than ever, especially for children with anxiety or are highly sensitive. Think of it as building an emotional bridge. Regular interaction allows you to truly understand their world, their worries, and their joys.
This open communication is vital for addressing anxieties and navigating challenging emotions. Highly sensitive children, who are more likely to feel anxious, thrive on the sense of security and support that comes from quality time. It reassures them that they’re loved and understood, empowering them to face the world with a little more confidence. So, put down the phone, silence distractions, and invest in those precious moments of connection. It’s a small daily investment with lifelong benefits for your child’s emotional well-being.
5. Teach your child deep breathing exercises
Just a few minutes of deep breaths can be a game-changer for managing anxiety. It sounds basic but it’s effective when you get the hang of it.
When your child feels anxious, their body goes into fight-or-flight mode. Deep breathing acts as a natural brake, slowing their heart rate and sending calming signals to the brain. This helps them regain control of their emotions and approach situations more clearly.
Think of it like hitting the pause button on a stressful moment, for example at bedtime, or when it’s time for going back to school.
The best part? Deep breathing is a skill they can carry with them throughout their lives. So, take a deep breath together today – you’re teaching your child a valuable skill for a calmer, more confident future.
Since it might take some time to find deep breathing exercises that your kiddo actually likes, I created these engaging Deep Breathing Exercises for kids. Check them out:
6. Do yoga together to relieve anxiety
Through yoga and breathing exercises kids learn to tune into their bodies and emotions. This self-awareness empowers them to manage anxiety, improve focus, and build resilience.
What’s also great about yoga is that it can be a family affair! Doing yoga together strengthens your bond with your child. Sharing laughter and creating positive memories during practice fosters a sense of connection and trust. So, grab a yoga mat, turn on some calming music, and enjoy quality time with your little yogi!
If you don’t know where to start, we’ve prepared this amazing My Yoga Poses poster for you.
7. Storytelling can be a powerful tool for children with anxiety
Stories can evoke a range of emotions, allowing kids to experience uncomfortable emotions in a safe and controlled way. This can be especially helpful for big negative emotions like sadness or anger.
Plus, they foster empathy. Children with anxiety can connect with the characters’ struggles and challenges, realizing they’re not alone in experiencing uncomfortable feelings.
Additionally, stories can be a great conversation starter for when your child has had a difficult day and refuses to talk about it.
8. Children with anxiety thrive on routine
Picture your child’s world as a bustling city. For children with anxiety, this city can feel overwhelming – noisy traffic, unpredictable detours, and unexpected crowds. A consistent routine acts like a reliable map, guiding them through their day. Knowing what to expect, from wake-up time to bedtime rituals, provides a sense of control for children who are sensitively-wired.
Routines also establish clear boundaries, which make parenting easier.
9. Exercise is great for children with anxiety
Exercise promotes the release of endorphins, the body’s natural mood elevators. These biochemical changes have a calming effect, helping children with anxiety to feel better.
Physical activity also provides a healthy outlet for pent-up energy, and it shifts focus from worries to the inherent joy in jumping, running, or dancing.
Here are other physical activities your kiddo might enjoy: jump rope, freeze tag, hula hoop, fly a kite, and jump on a trampoline.
10. Manage your own worries
Preventing our own negative thoughts from spiraling out of control is tough. I get it. It’s something that I struggle with almost every day. But managing our anxiety is crucial if we want our children to keep their worries in check.
One way to reduce the effect of your anxiety onto your child is to meditate. Here’s a simple meditation technique you can try: observe your thoughts as they come and go, without acting upon them, for 5-10 minutes every day. If your mind keeps wandering (it will!), focus your attention on your breath without judgment. Alternatively, bring your awareness to your body: notice the sensations in your toes, arms, or chest.
You can also take some time to do something kind for yourself. Take a hot shower, call a good friend, listen to an audio book, or go outside. Check out the Self-care for Parents Poster below for more ideas! This will not only help you build anxiety coping skills, but also model healthy ways of managing anxiety for your child.
Remember, you’re not alone. Lots of parents struggle with anxiety and feel burnt out, and it’s okay to ask for help.
By trying out different coping tools that work for yourself, by taking short self-care breaks every other day, you’re also taking care of your child.
