Do you wonder if you have a highly sensitive baby?
From birth, I noticed my baby had a high-strung nervous system. He didn’t enjoy getting messy, and loud noises or wind seemed to startle him. He started tantrums at twelve months. That’s pretty early for tantrums! I now know that he had big feelings that he was too young to articulate hence the outbursts.
However, I still feel that navigating parenting a deeply feeling child was the hardest thing I have ever done. For years, I felt alone and doubted my parenting skills.
To bring awareness to parents like myself, I created this article where I’ve brought together the telltale signs of a highly sensitive baby. This article can help learn early on if your child is highly sensitive so that you can let go of self-blame and provide them with the support they need.
Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our Highly Sensitive Child checklist for FREE. This checklist can help you find out whether your child is highly sensitive, identify their triggers, and find out their strengths.
Here are the telltale signs of a highly sensitive baby:
1. A highly sensitive baby has big, big emotions that they cannot articulate yet, which makes them tantrum more often
Highly sensitive babies often have nervous systems that are more easily overwhelmed by stimuli. They experience intense emotions they’re still learning to express, which can lead to fussiness and later, tantrums. As they grow, these strong emotions might lead to labels like ‘strong-willed,’ ‘feisty,’ or ‘inflexible.’
Big feelings can make sensitive babies cry over things that wouldn’t bother others. For example, a minor fall at the playground might require a trip home, while other children bounce back. Similarly, a mommy and me class full of high-energy kids might be overwhelming for a highly sensitive baby who needs a calmer environment.
On the bright side, when their environment is calm and predictable, these babies can be very content and easygoing.
2. Sensitive babies are cautious around strangers and in new environments
Sensitive babies are slow to warm up around strangers and in new environments, whereas other babies are eager to explore. It’s not necessarily fear; they simply take more time to observe their surroundings. They may sit still and observe any noise – quiet and loud, and any person – quiet or loud. If something feels unfamiliar or uncomfortable, they’ll choose to stay close to their parents for comfort instead of rushing off to explore.
This preference for predictability and calmness extends to the adults they interact with. Highly sensitive babies often prefer adults who are more gentle, use a softer tone of voice, and make gentle contact before trying to engage them in play. These adults might offer to hold your baby but won’t try to take them from you right away. They understand that some babies are slow to warm up and see it as normal.
In a nutshell, your highly sensitive baby instinctively likes adults who respect boundaries. Thanks to their high sensitivity, your baby has an ability to pick out these adults.
As a highly sensitive child grows up, their inborn cautiousness can transform into anxiety if there’s too much pressure to act a certain way (for example, to greet people they don’t know, or to make friends with children they don’t like). They may also learn to mask their feelings as a way to fit in society. Unfortunately, that can lead to meltdowns at home where the child feels safe enough to express their big feelings.
3. A highly sensitive baby can have intense separation anxiety
Highly sensitive babies may develop more intense separation anxiety. Here are three potential reasons for that:
- More easily overwhelmed by stimuli: Sensitive babies are often more easily overwhelmed by sights, sounds, and textures. This heightened sensitivity might translate to a stronger need for familiar faces and routines, leading to separation anxiety when those comforts are disrupted.
- Big emotions: Another common trait in HSC babies is experiencing emotions more intensely. A brief separation from a caregiver might feel like a significant loss to them, triggering a stronger reaction compared to other babies.
- Strong attachment needs: HSC babies are often very attached to their main caregiver. This intense bond is positive but can also lead to greater separation anxiety when that bond is temporarily broken.
4. A highly sensitive baby may have trouble sleeping alone
Highly sensitive babies may also experience intense bedtime anxiety. This can be because, by the end of the day, they’re overloaded from all the information they’ve taken in. Their brains are still developing and haven’t learned to process everything yet. So, by bedtime, they might feel too stimulated to settle down and sleep.
Moreover, many highly sensitive babies need the comfort of mom or dad close by to feel safe enough to sleep, unlike some other babies who are more independent sleepers. This need for physical contact is actually backed by science. Brain scientists have shown that physical connection helps calm the nervous system (think about how good a hug feels!).”
5. A highly sensitive baby may hate busy environments
Crowded places, birthday parties, large family gatherings, and even playdates with high-energy children can be too much for a highly sensitive baby. Here are a couple of reasons:
- Not knowing what to expect. Meeting lots of people usually means that you are taking the baby out of their daily routine (you don’t go to parties and family gatherings daily, after all). Getting out of the daily routine can unsettle your baby by itself because they don’t know what to expect.
- Extra noise, smell and touch stimulation. Highly sensitive babies often have sensory sensitivities, making busy or new environments feel like too much for them to handle. For example, they may hate loud or sudden noises. In addition, a bunch of people wanting to hold the baby, and the potential change in the baby’s sleep schedules can add to the overwhelm and lead to tantrums.
6. Highly sensitive babies can be sensitive to touch, making eating, clothing and bath time challenging
Touch is one of the most important senses for a baby. It helps them explore the world, feel safe and secure, and bond with their caregivers. However, some babies are more sensitive to touch than others.
Here’s how tactile sensitivity can influence a baby’s behavior:
- Discomfort with Certain Clothes Textures: A highly sensitive baby might find certain textures irritating or even painful. This could include clothing tags, rough fabrics, or even the feeling of wet wipes. They might react by crying, fussing, or pulling away from the touch.
- Bath Time: Bath time, which can be a relaxing experience for some babies, might be stressful for a tactilely sensitive baby. The feeling of water pouring on their skin (especially on their face), the water temperature, or the sensation of soap might be overwhelming. They might cry, arch their back, or become fussy during bath time.
- Picky Eaters: Tactile sensitivity can extend to food. A highly sensitive baby might reject certain foods due to their texture or temperature. This can make introducing new foods a challenge.
- Cuddles and Carry Time: Some babies with a more sensitive nervous system might crave the comfort of touch (and love weighted blankets and swaddling as a soothing tool) while others may be easily overwhelmed by too much pressure or restriction (and hate baby carriers, for example).
5 Tips To Help Your Highly Sensitive Baby Thrive
1. Listen without stopping the feelings from flowing out
Whenever your baby gets upset, crying, or frustrated, get down to their eye level and simply be there for them. You don’t need to try to change anything right away. Offer a gentle hug or kiss to show you care. This way, you’re creating a safe space for their feelings and offering empathy. Remember, there’s no need to stop the feelings or “fix” anything immediately. Often, what babies need most is simply to feel safe and understood.
Here’s an important point: Highly sensitive children, including babies, pick up on our anxieties very easily. So, by staying calm and collected yourself, you create a safe space where your child feels comfortable expressing their emotions freely.
2. Give a warning before transitions
Highly sensitive babies are content and easygoing as long as they know what to expect.
That’s why it helps to give gentle reminders before transitions, and validate their emotions when they seem to struggle with moving on. So, if your highly sensitive child is upset about the sudden ending of an activity, warn them about the transition in advance next time. You could say, ‘It’s almost time to clean up now. Let’s say bye bye to the blocks!’ Then, if they still get upset, validate their feelings and name those feelings for them. ‘You were having fun building with the blocks! Now, you feel frustrated because it’s time to stop playing. It’s hard to say goodbye to something fun.’
3. Teach them basic sign language
Sensitive babies are highly observant, noticing everything around them. They’re also determined and know what they want. However, because they’re still developing their communication skills, they can easily get frustrated when they can’t express their needs. This frustration can often erupt in crying or tantrums.
Here’s where teaching sign language can be a game-changer. To avoid tantrums, try to teach your baby signs for “stop”, “more”, “please”, “finished.”
Here are some tips for introducing signs to your highly sensitive baby:
- Start early: You can begin teaching signs as early as 6 months old.
- Keep it simple: Focus on a few essential signs at first, like “more” and “stop.”
- Be consistent: Use the signs yourself consistently while saying the words clearly.
- Make it fun: Incorporate signs into playtime, diaper changes, and mealtimes. Keep it light and positive!
4. Encourage them to try new activities and meet new people but don’t rush them
Highly sensitive babies thrive on routine and may want to watch from the sidelines for a while before joining a group activity. This doesn’t mean they’re not interested; they’re simply taking time to observe and process what’s going on around them.
A step-by-step approach, like introducing them to a new environment gradually, works best for them. This allows them to process the new information in smaller chunks. For example, if you’re going to a new playground, you could let them explore a quiet area first before venturing into the busier sections.
It’s important not to shield them from new experiences that make them feel uncomfortable. Sheltering them can send the message that you don’t trust their abilities to cope with new situations or that negative emotions are to be avoided. Instead, guide them with calm and confidence. Be there for them, validates their emotions, and help them navigate new experiences at their own pace.
5. Equip yourself with a toolbox of calming tools
Emotional validation and co-regulation are incredibly helpful, but they cannot function without a set of calming tools when you have a determined, strong-willed baby that can’t be swayed.
Here is a list of calming tools to try with your highly sensitive baby. Have a look:
Visual calming strategies:
- Show them a high-contrast object: Black and white mobiles, colorful crinkle toys, or a brightly colored ball can capture their attention.
- Take them for a walk: A change of scenery can be stimulating and distracting. Pay attention to what catches their eye, like leaves blowing in the wind or birds flying by.
- Use a baby mirror: Self-discovery can be fascinating for some babies.
- Spend time outdoors: Nature has a soothing effect on our nervous systems, and it’s the same way for babies.
Auditory calming strategies:
- Sing or hum calming songs: Your voice is familiar and comforting. Try soft lullabies or gentle instrumental music.
- Play nature sounds: White noise machines or recordings of rain, waves, or wind can be surprisingly soothing.
- Use rattles or crinkly toys: The sound can be stimulating and distracting, but avoid loud or jarring noises.
Touch calming strategies:
- Swaddle them: A snug swaddle can mimic the feeling of being in the womb and provide comfort (if your baby tolerates it).
- Offer a gentle massage: Stroking their back, legs, or feet can be calming. Use baby oil for a smoother touch.
- Skin-to-skin contact: Hold your baby close, chest to chest. Your warmth and heartbeat can be very soothing.
Movement techniques:
- Rock them gently: The rhythmic motion can be very calming for some babies.
- Try babywearing: Carrying your baby close can provide comfort and security, while also freeing up your hands.
- Take them for a ride: A car ride or a walk in the stroller can sometimes work wonders.
Distraction Techniques:
- Blow bubbles
- Play peek-a-boo
- Read a story (even if they don’t understand the words, the sound of your voice and the colorful pictures can be engaging)
- Offer a teething ring or safe toy to explore
- Crinkle paper or make other interesting sounds
- Incorporate gross and fine motor activities in your play, like crawling, rolling, reaching, grasping, finger painting, and building blocks.
The secret for these tools to work is that they need to be child-led as much as possible. When children are in control, this gives them a sense of autonomy which reduces their stress hormones and thus helps with emotional self-regulation.
Moreover, child-led play allows children to explore and learn at their own pace.
