Do you wonder how to get the children to entertain themselves, so that you can have a breather?
Are your kids always interrupting, asking you to watch everything they do, or just generally making things a bit tough? It happens to all of us!
Children aren’t trying to push our buttons in those moments. They are seeking connection.
But what if you offer lots of attention and they want more and more?
Here’s how to teach children to entertain themselves.
Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our Highly Sensitive Child checklist for FREE. This checklist can help you find out whether your child is highly sensitive or deeply feeling, identify their triggers, and find out their strengths which can help build their self-confidence.
1. Quality versus Quantity
To teach children to entertain themselves, you first have to make sure that their emotional cup is full.
#1. Schedule one-on-one special time each day
Even 15-20 minutes of undivided attention can make a big difference. Here are some fun one-on-one activities for tired parents and energetic kids:
Creative Play:
- Play-Doh fun: Mold silly creatures, build structures, or have a color-mixing competition.
- Draw me anything: Challenge each other to draw funny pictures based on silly prompts.
- DIY craft: Choose a simple project like finger painting, mandala coloring, or popsicle stick crafts.
Active Play:
- Indoor treasure hunt: Hide small treats or clues around the house and let your child be the pirate or detective searching for them.
- Fort building: Grab blankets, pillows, and chairs to build a cozy fort. Read stories, snuggle, or tell jokes inside.
- Balloon stomp: Blow up some balloons and have a playful stomping race while trying not to pop them.
Relaxing Activities:
- Cuddle and read: Find a comfy spot, snuggle up, and take turns reading stories.
- Puzzles together: Choose a colorful puzzle and work on it together.
- Nature walk: Head outside, observe the surroundings, and collect leaves or pebbles.
- Peaceful massage: Take turns giving each other gentle hand or foot massages. You can also try EFT tapping – read more here.
#2. Make special time about them
Let them choose the activity during scheduled one-on-one time. If they choose activities that take longer or you don’t feel up to, ask them to give you three options. Or if they insist, you can suggest doing the longer activity on the weekend.
It would be best if you collaborated so that everyone feels heard. This is also a perfect opportunity for your child to learn social and negotiation skills.
#3. Use visual schedules and timers for special time
Create a weekly visual schedule (or daily for toddlers) where they can see when they’ll have one-on-one time.
Timers can make waiting more fun. You can also use timers if your child gets impatient. Many kids, especially highly sensitive ones, get overly excited simply from anticipating something.
Similarly, you can use visual schedules and timers to encourage children to entertain themselves. For example, you can have a timer for independent play and for age-appropriate chores, too, as long as the kids think it’s fun.
#4. Set clear expectations ahead of time
Explain kindly and firmly that you can’t be available every moment, as much as you want to. (“Mommy/Daddy needs some time to unwind sometimes, just like you need time to play with your friends.”)
You can also emphasize the benefit of self-care: “When I take a break, I can come back feeling refreshed and ready to spend time with you!”
Then, offer alternatives: “While I’m taking a break, you can choose a book to read, build with Legos, or draw a picture.”
#5. “Bonus time” deal
If your child wants more special time after your one-on-one activity, consider discussing a “bonus time” deal. For example, if your little one begs for more tag, say, “If you want ten extra minutes of tag, you need to help me out first.” Then, suggest something positive they can do while you get a breather, like finishing a favorite puzzle or setting the table. If they complete their mini-task, give them those extra minutes of fun. But if they forget their promise, gently explain that extra play depends on keeping their word. This teaches responsibility and makes future negotiations smoother.
2. Encourage Independence
#1. Assign small chores
Age-appropriate chores can give a sense of accomplishment and self-confidence. To make chores fun, add some silly music or turn chores into a race. Also, consider giving a list of chores to choose from to give your child a sense of control.
Deeply feeling and neurodivergent kids are sensitive to criticism. Hence, it’s better to celebrate effort and progress when they help with chores. Remember, the aim is to keep the kids busy.
#2. Create a sensory corner for children to entertain themselves
Offer a variety of games and materials that encourage children to entertain themselves. In addition, rotate materials every week so there’s always something new and exciting. Also, involve the kids in choosing the items for their calming/sensory corner.
Here are our suggestions for building a calming and sensory corner/toolbox for children to entertain themselves:
- Visual: lava lamp, pictures and posters of calming landscapes, fidget spinners, glitter jars, sensory bottles filled with sensory beads and glitter, posters with calming and mindfulness activities or yoga poses for kids
- Touch: weighted blanket, play dough, slime, stress balls, squishy toys, feathers, wood blocks, water beads
- Hearing: calming music, nature play, white noise, wind chimes, headphones for listening to music or an audiobook
- Smell: lavender or vanilla playdough (you can make your own by adding some lavender essential oil to your playdough), scented play sand (mix kinetic sand with ground spice like cinnamon or nutmeg), spice jars filled with cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg
- Vestibular: small trampoline, indoor swing.
One way to teach children to entertain themselves with a calming corner is to set up a daily routine. For example, kids use the calming and sensory corner each morning after breakfast.
#3. Play together, then encourage children to entertain themselves
Start play sessions together, then gradually guide them towards solo activities while you’re nearby for support. Stay within earshot, offer smiles and gentle guidance while keeping it short.
Remember, children learn to entertain themselves through practice. The more opportunities they have to play independently, the better they’ll get.
3. Discover Unmet Needs
#1. Learn your child’s emotional and sensory triggers
Children often can’t get enough of their caregivers because they need to bond with us to feel loved. Ask yourself if any recent changes in your child’s life (new sibling, school difficulties, family conflicts) might be causing anxiety and seeking comfort.
You can also start tracking behavior. Notice the situations and triggers that lead to increased attention-seeking. Does it happen when you’re busy, distracted, or about to leave? Did your child used to love to play independently and now they don’t?
Moreover, think about whether your child can express emotions and needs effectively. If not, attention-seeking might be their way of communicating. In this case, you might need to teach them about the different types of emotions and how we can healthily express them (for example, using “I feel…when…” statements). If they struggle to verbalize, offer alternative ways to express themselves, like drawing, writing, or role-playing.
Also, consider sensory processing needs and ADHD. Neurodivergent children may crave extra stimulation due to the different wiring of their brains. Consider talking to a healthcare professional for evaluation.
If you feel that your child has sensory sensitivities, check out our 8 Sensory Cheat Sheets Free Printable. You can download it here.
#2. Get those feelings out
Talk openly about their feelings to find out why they don’t like to entertain themselves. Click the link to check our FREE Feelings Check-In Cards, which you can use as a Conversation Starter!
Highly sensitive children may reject you when you try to talk it out. Shutting down doesn’t mean however, that children don’t need connection. Some ways to help them process their feelings are:
- Share personal experiences without referencing their own situation so they don’t feel like their emotions overwhelm them again (“I remember when I was your age, my sister did this thing and I felt really mad. I learned that….Anyway do you want a snack?”). Keep it casual and neutral and let them decide if they want to open up to you. Our job is just to show them that we’re there for them. If they have an avoidant style, they may want to go back into their shell instead of sharing uncomfortable feelings. Give them time.
- Read stories about emotions your child relates to.
- Get playful: when everyone’s calm, play feelings charades games (click here to get our Feelings Charade FREE Printable), or create stories where characters go through challenging experiences.
Take-Home Message
Kids seek connection the best they know how, even if it pushes our buttons sometimes. And seeing the child beyond the behavior is crucial for them to thrive.
But let’s face it: we can’t always be superheroes. There are days when multiple little hands are reaching for us, plus work, friends, and, yes, even our sanity to consider.
Doing our best is what matters; honestly, that can look different on different days. Some days, it’s hours of playtime, while other days, it’s acknowledging their need for connection and setting limits with compassion. And guess what? That’s okay!
Doing our best is enough. We are enough. Full stop.
