Weaning your HSC toddler off the breast can be very tricky. In this article, you’ll find twelve techniques for weaning without too much drama:
- Gently weaning off the breast
- Plan ahead
- Postpone feeding sessions
- Make time for extra bonding
- Offer solids and water before nursing
- Shorten breastfeeding sessions
- Limit nursing outside of your home
- Don’t offer, don’t say “no.”
- Avoid weaning during significant transitions
- Tell your toddler what’s going on
- Keep your breasts covered
- Ask your partner for help
The World Health (WHO) recommends breastfeeding for two years or more. In addition, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends breastfeeding for one year or longer. Moreover, AAP uses the expression ”as mutually desired by mother and infant,” meaning that breastfeeding doesn’t have to be child-centered.
Therefore, don’t feel guilty if you believe it’s time to start weaning.
Combining breastfeeding with daily life can be challenging, particularly if you have more children.
Moreover, continuing to nurse while ignoring the frustration it brings can worsen postpartum depression for some mothers.
Sometimes, parents go on breastfeeding because they don’t know how to wean without causing upset to their toddler. Also, weaning an HSC toddler can be twice as hard because they tend to be so attached and quick to react.
So, what’s the trick?
Here are twelve effective techniques for weaning an HSC toddler without too much drama:
1. Gently weaning off the breast
There is no best way to stop breastfeeding. Each parent and child are unique, and likewise, their breastfeeding partnership will be.
But gradually weaning is the gentlest way to go. For your HSC to feel confident throughout the process, you need to plan and help them build a little patience.
2. Plan ahead
Many of us try to gently wean when we are already exhausted from breastfeeding on demand and endless night feedings. However, exhaustion coupled with your HSC’s increased anxiety raises exponentially the risk of weaning off abruptly.
Often, parents plan to nurse as long as the baby wants but no longer than a certain age, like six months, a year, or maybe two. So the road to gentle weaning should start when you know the maximum age.
If you breastfeed on demand up to the age you want to stop, it will be difficult to break the habit suddenly. It’s like expecting your child to stop eating chocolate when you have never set a limit on sweets.
So, to wean gradually is best to plan. For example, you could start by helping your toddler build the skills they need to navigate this difficult period: empathy and patience.
It’s best to take small steps towards weaning an HSC toddler as early as they start to show the first signs of empathy and patience.
3. Postpone: “Not now, later.”
Postponing means asking your toddler to wait a moment until you’re ready for your feeding session.
To be able to do that, your HSC toddler will need some basic understanding of empathy and patience.
Fortunately, HSCs are usually more empathetic than non-HSCs.
Also, children start showing empathy earlier than we think. Early signs include smiling at 6-8 weeks, showing concern when seeing a sad face at 8-10 months, enjoying pretend play from 12 months onwards, and simple helping (like bringing a new diaper) from 14-18 months.
On the flip side, teaching patience is challenging, as all parents know. In addition, HSCs are also quick to react when upset, making the task even more difficult.
Practicing in situations that are less likely to make your HSC toddler anxious is an excellent way to teach patience.
Here are some examples:
- “First, we clean up the toys, and then we’ll read this book.”
- “We’ll play outside after we finish lunch.”
After your toddler has mastered some patience, you can suggest something like this:
- “I’m going to use the bathroom, and then we’ll nurse.”
- “We’re going to read an extra book today, and then we’ll feed, okay? So here’s your water if you’re thirsty in the meantime.”
Please don’t make them wait for too long, though. And if you say “just a minute,” don’t make it ten minutes. Toddlers need to feel confident that we take their needs seriously. So, instead, setting a timer (for one minute, then for 5 minutes, etc.) and following through might be a gentler way to teach them a little patience.
4. Make time for extra bonding
A two-year-old toddler usually nurses both for comfort and food.
What’s more, HSC toddlers are often very attached to their parents or guardian. Some would label them “clingy,” even. So, prioritize extra opportunities for bonding, having in mind their sensitive temperament.
So, consider offering comfort by having more one-on-one time (especially outdoors where they are more likely to forget about nursing), cuddling, reading a story, dancing together, or singing a song. Make sure to fill their bucket before feeding time.
5. Offer solids and water before a feeding session
As for food, you might offer a snack or a good meal before nursing to shorten the session.
Also, your toddler might feed at night because they are thirsty. So, dropping night feedings might be tricky during summer. Instead, you might introduce other liquids gradually, like water or formula.
6. Shorten feeding sessions when weaning your HSC toddler
Often toddlers are busy discovering the world and nurse only before naps and bedtime. These feedings are part of daily routines; eliminating them without tantrums is tricky.
Instead, you’re better off trying to shorten these feeding sessions. For example, you could nurse for a couple of minutes and then redirect (“Let’s look through this book!”). Also, having a bottle of water/formula nearby while you’re reading is helpful, along with reminding your child to drink so that they don’t ask to feed right as you turn off the lights.
Another option would be to start feeding closer to bedtime when your toddler is exhausted. In this case, ensure their stomach is full. Otherwise, your toddler might wake up after the first sleep cycle, which lasts about 30-45 minutes.
7. Limit breastfeeding when not at home
Limiting feeds outside your home is a great idea to wean off the breast gently. When outdoors or visiting, your toddler is likely to engage more easily in other activities.
Or, when the time for feeding approaches, try engaging your child in their favorite activities, like running around or playing hide-and-seek.
Stroller naps are also an excellent option to avoid a feeding session and a great opportunity for Dad to offer support.
8. Don’t offer, but don’t say “no” either when weaning your HSC toddler
When your HSC toddler asks to nurse, it’s best not to refuse. However, don’t mention breastfeeding if they are busy playing. Also, avoid sitting where you usually breastfeed, like on the couch.
To keep them busy and forget about feeding, you can stay in another room than they usually nurse. Also, changing the daily routine might work.
9. Avoid weaning during significant transitions
HSC toddlers don’t do well with changes in their routines, so try to be as understanding as you can and implement the change in small steps.
For instance, if you plan to wean because you have another baby on the way, start the process at least a couple of months before giving birth. This way, your toddler won’t feel like you’re rushing them into something they are unprepared for.
Moreover, moving your toddler to their room is also not a great time to start weaning.
10. Tell your toddler what’s going on
Two-year-old toddlers may not express their thoughts but they understand a lot. When you feel it’s time to wean, tell your child that they have grown up now and, instead of breastfeeding, you can do much more interesting activities together.
You might make it fun by offering big-kid snacks to show they are not babies anymore.
So often, toddlers feel that losing the comfort of breastfeeding is like losing you. So, explain to your kid that your connection will remain strong even if you stop breastfeeding: “I love you, and that won’t change even if you don’t breastfeed.”
Of course, these discussions will likely make your toddler anxious, but allow time for the idea to sink in. So, don’t rush them and stay positive.
11. Keep your breasts covered
Ensure your toddler doesn’t see your breasts: avoid low-cut blouses, and don’t get dressed in front of your toddler.
Some moms like to wear a bra or an extra layer of clothes at night. However, extra clothes might make you uncomfortable if your HSC toddler is stubborn and insists on night feedings.
12. Ask your partner for help when weaning your HSC toddler
Your partner might agree with weaning initially but, later on, might become less supportive when realizing this process requires extra involvement on their part.
However, your partner’s attitude towards weaning is essential because your HSC toddler will likely pick up the tension and become anxious.
As long as your partner is supportive, weaning off the breast doesn’t have to become a big discussion topic in your family. Instead, all of you should see it as part of your regular routine.
References
Viktoriya Wörmann, Manfred Holodynski, Joscha Kärtner, Heidi Keller, A cross-cultural comparison of the development of the social smile: A longitudinal study of maternal and infant imitation in 6- and 12-week-old infants, Infant Behavior and Development, Volume 35, Issue 3, 2012, Pages 335-347, ISSN 0163-6383, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.infbeh.2012.03.002 (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0163638312000410)
Ronit Roth-Hanania, Maayan Davidov, Carolyn Zahn-Waxler, Empathy development from 8 to 16 months: Early signs of concern for others, Infant Behavior and Development, Volume 34, Issue 3,
2011, Pages 447-458, ISSN 0163-6383, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.infbeh.2011.04.007.
(https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0163638311000506)
