These are valid questions that parents ask themselves when kids go into a full-blown outburst. You see…

Setting screen time boundaries and the after-screen meltdowns are major source of frustration and guilt for parents. Think about it…

It’s tempting to say yes to “one more level” or another TV show when the alternative is a meltdown. Especially as that means you can do some house chores or just enjoy a well-deserved self-care break…on Instagram or Netflix, obviously. But what does excessive screen time do to your child’s brain?

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our Highly Sensitive Child checklist for FREE. This checklist can help you find out whether your child is highly sensitive, identify their triggers, and find out their strengths.

In this article, we’re going to explore how screens affect kids’ brains and we’re going to talk about how to set screen boundaries without yelling, lecturing, or using threats.

The negative effects of excessive screen time on kids

1. Too much screen time leads to trouble focusing

The fast-paced content on screens can shorten attention spans. It can also make it difficult to focus on complex tasks. That can lead to difficulty in school and low frustration tolerance.

A study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association Pediatrics suggests a link between excessive screen time in babies and delays in their development by age 4. Researchers tracked nearly 8,000 children, asking parents about screen time at 1 year old and then assessing developmental skills at ages 2 and 4. Babies who spent more than 4 hours a day on screens showed delays in communication, problem-solving, fine motor skills, and social skills.

Another study by the National Institutes of Health revealed that kids glued to screens for over 2 hours a day scored lower on thinking and language tests. And it gets worse. Excessive screen time (we’re talking 7+ hours daily) has been linked to a physical shrinking of the brain’s cortex, the part responsible for critical thinking.

2. High screen time may lead to atypical sensory processing

According to a study by Drexel University, babies and toddlers (50% male) exposed to too much screen time are more likely to have sensory seeking or sensory avoiding behaviors.  For example, they may get bored quickly and seek more intense stimulation, or they may be overwhelmed by bright lights and loud sounds.

3. The blue light from screens can lead to sleep struggles

Blue light from screens can disrupt sleep patterns impacting overall physical health. Not getting enough sleep can lead to trouble focusing in class, to outbursts and irritability.

4. Excessive screen time contributes to anxiety and depression

Constant exposure to fast-paced content and unrealistic portrayals on screens, online bullying, and violent content can contribute to anxiety, depression, and feelings of inadequacy. This is especially true for highly sensitive kids, due to their heightened sensory processing and emotional intensity.

5. Excessive screen time limits face-to-face interaction

Face-to-face social interaction is crucial for developing social skills and empathy. Excessive screen time can limit these opportunities and lead to feelings of isolation. Unfortunately, kids may feel safer and more at ease in the virtual world than in real life.

What are the signs that my child is overly exposed to screens?

Here are some signs that your child might be overly exposed to screens:

• Irritability and tantrums: When screen time is abruptly stopped, children who are overly exposed might experience withdrawal symptoms like irritability, frustration, or even tantrums.
• Difficulty managing emotions: Children who rely heavily on screens for entertainment might struggle with emotional regulation and coping mechanisms for dealing with boredom, frustration, or disappointment.
• Difficulty focusing and short attention span: Excessive screen time can be linked to decreased attention spans, making it hard for children to focus on tasks that require sustained concentration.
• Social isolation: Children who spend a lot of time on screens might become less interested in face-to-face interactions and social activities, preferring to be alone with their devices.
• Increased screen time preoccupation: If your child constantly talks about screens, begs for screen time, or hides their screen use, it could be a sign of unhealthy dependence.
• Anxiety and depression: Exposure to violent content, online bullying, or unrealistic portrayals on social media can contribute to feelings of anxiety, depression, or dissatisfaction.
• Low self-esteem: Constantly comparing themselves to unrealistic online portrayals can negatively impact a child’s self-esteem and body image.

How to set screen time boundaries that you actually follow through

1. Set screen time boundaries together

Create a plan with screen time rules. Consistency is key so make sure you set realistic boundaries. Don’t just enforce rules without explanation, especially if your children are older. Talk to them about the benefits of limiting screen time and how it helps everyone in the family be more present and connected. Write your plan down and post it somewhere where everyone can see it.

Here’s a script you can utilize for this: “What are some ways you think we can manage screen time better? Maybe we can come up with a screen time plan. I’m thinking of including some screen-free zones in the house or setting time limits together. What do you think?”

2. Offer emotional validation when you impose screen time boundaries

Sometimes children zone out when watching a TV show or playing on their IPad. No matter how many reminders you give them (“10 more minutes, honey, and then screens off!”, “5 more minutes!…), they still have an after-screen meltdown with screaming and kicking. That leaves parents feeling frustrated and overwhelmed.

Though it’s hard, one thing that helps in the heat of the moment, is to remind yourself that your job as a parent is not to keep your child happy and entertained 100% of the time. Instead, Instead, your role is to make the best decisions for their wellbeing. When we understand that, we’re better able to remain calm when our kids struggle with screen time boundaries. So, think of their outbursts as an opportunity for them to learn how to manage their frustration. All you have to do is to remain emotionally present without giving in. Here’s how emotional validation might sound like,

“I hear you. It’s hard giving up your phone when you don’t want to”, or “Honey, it’s time to put down the device like we talked about. I know it’s hard. It’s hard for me, too.”

Remember also to give grace for example when the time is up and they are finishing a video game. Just like you’d like to receive grace when you’re finishing a text message.

Side note: If you’re tired of your child’s after-screen meltdowns, try our FREE Feelings Check-In. It will help your child identify their emotions better which can help prevent an outburst. The freebies has a set of calming tools for kids (and adults, too) to try when they are on the verge of exploding.

As a reminder, it’s best to discuss about emotions and coping tools when everyone’s calm. That’s because when your child is in fight or flight mode, they won’t be able to listen to you lecturing them about appropriate behavior.

3. Give choices when enforcing screen time boundaries

Choices make kids feel empowered and they are particularly important for sensitive and spirited children, “Legos or screen time? What would you prefer to do after lunch today? We can always set a timer for screen time later if you’d like.”

4. Keep tablets, computers and TVs in open areas of your home

Keeping screens in the shared space of your home allows you to naturally monitor the shows your kids watch, the games they play, and the websites they visit while they enjoy screen time.

5. Have screen-free zones in your home

Designate certain areas of the house, like bedrooms or the dinner table, as “screen-free zones” to encourage other forms of interaction.

6. Create a screen schedule

Work with your child to create a daily or weekly schedule that allocates specific times for screen time and other activities, like at meals or before bed.

At the same time, it’s also important to make life full of opportunities where screen time is less desired or needed: encourage outdoor play, and sports, and plan activities together as a family.

7. Create tech-free time

Kids of all ages should learn that there are specific times of the day when no one in the family uses screens, like at meals or before bed. Even better, you can have a day every week when you do something fun as a family, no screens allowed.

8. Help your kids discover other ways to have fun

Kids who spend too much time glued to the screens often complain that they have nothing else better to do. (Side note: Want to teach your child how to entertain themselves? Read this article)

That’s why it helps to keep other options around and ready – art supplies, books, legos, and bikes. Anything to stimulate their imagination.

Another idea is to schedule time together and with friends: playdates, family game nights, or other groups that encourage face-to-face interactions.

9. Explain why screen time boundaries are necessary

Talk to your child about the benefits of limiting screen time. Explain how it can improve their sleep, focus, and overall well-being. Discuss the effects of screens on the brain, particularly how some games are designed to be addictive. These games can leave you feeling unsatisfied, wanting to play more and more.

Compare this feeling to the joy of watching a movie together as a family. Sharing experiences and laughter creates a different connection than passively watching endless episodes, regardless of the show’s quality. While both screens and activities can be fun, they have different impacts on our brains and ultimately our behavior.

10. Be prepared to explain why other families have different screen time boundaries

After spending hours glued to the TV at a friend’s house, your kids might question why the rules are different at home. Use these moments as opportunities to discuss your family’s values around screen time.

11. Lead by example: reduce your screen time

Instead of reaching for your phone when bored or waiting, model alternative activities. Read a book, listen to music, do some chores, or simply observe your surroundings.

Also, when interacting with your kid, actively listen and engage. Avoid checking your phone constantly or using it as a distraction during conversations or playtime.

Another way to help kids learn how to use their designated screen time is to help them choose educational apps, games that promote learning (Minecraft), or apps that encourage creativity.

It’s also best to discuss responsible online behavior if your child is older: talk openly about responsible online behavior, like cyberbullying awareness and online privacy.

12. Use parental controls

Most devices offer parental control features that allow you to set time limits, block certain websites or apps, and restrict access during specific times.

Also, consider using content filtering software or apps to ensure your child is only accessing age-appropriate content online.

Take-Home Message

If you’re like most parents, screen time causes daily battles in your home.

But, unlike what most of us believe, the secret to creating a calm household is not to limit screens as much as possible. That’s not practical in today’s world. Instead, the secret is to help children develop a healthy and balanced relationship with technology.

You are not alone.

And the good news is that there is something that you can do to help them manage anxiety.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our Highly Sensitive Child checklist for FREE. This checklist can help you find out whether your child is highly sensitive, identify their triggers, and find out their strengths.

Our bodies have a built-in calming system and, in this article, we’ll explore how to activate it using fun and engaging exercises. 

What Is The Vagus Nerve?

Ever get that nagging feeling in your gut before a big decision? Or that sudden urge to bolt from a situation that just feels…off? These aren’t mere hunches! Turns out, your gut is talking to your brain thanks to the vagus nerve.

What it the vagus nerve? It is a long and important nerve in your body. Its name, “vagus,” comes from a Latin word meaning “wandering” because it branches out and connects to many organs throughout your body.  Think of it like a complex communication network that reaches almost everywhere.

The vagus nerve, also known as the tenth cranial nerve or cranial nerve X, originates in the brainstem and travels down through the neck, chest, and abdomen, innervating (providing nerve supply to) many organs. It is the longest nerve in the body and is part of the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for the body’s rest-and-digest response. Unlike the sympathetic nervous system, which is like your body’s “gas pedal” during stressful situations, the parasympathetic nervous acts as the “brake.” It helps your body slow down, relax, and focus on things like digestion and feeling calm.

The vagus nerve acts like a two-way street in your body. It gathers information from your organs, like your heart and stomach, about how they’re working. Then, it sends messages back from your brain stem to control things like digestion, heart rate, and even your mood.

There is growing interest in the potential therapeutic benefits of vagus nerve stimulation for a variety of conditions, including:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Epilepsy
• Inflammatory bowel disease
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

Research suggests a relationship between the vagus nerve and conditions like anxiety, OCD, ADHD, and depression. This could be because the messages between the brain and body aren’t being sent or received properly.

How Vagus Nerve Stimulation Can Help Children With Anxiety

When a child’s brain receives signals from the vagus nerve indicating a threat, they might react with natural survival behaviors like fight, flight, or freeze. These are their instinctive responses to perceived danger.

Adults often try to calm them down with reasoning and talking. However, neuroscience tells us that during these moments, a child’s “thinking brain” (responsible for logic and reasoning) is temporarily unavailable. So, when logic won’t work, stimulating the vagus nerve becomes a powerful tool to help them calm down.

Stimulating your child’s vagus nerve can help them switch off fight-or-flight-or-freeze mode. By calming the nervous system, it sends a message to the brain that says “you are safe” instead of “you are in danger.”

Vagus Nerve Exercises

So how do we stimulate a nerve? It is quite simple actually.  Here are a few ideas to exercise that vagus nerve.

Remember that these exercises are most effective when we practice them on a regular basis, and not just when we are in stress mode.

Movement and Breathwork:

• Belly Breaths: Turn it into a game! Have your child lie down or sit comfortably and place a stuffed animal on their belly. Ask them to breathe in slowly through their nose, making the stuffed animal rise like a balloon. As they exhale slowly through their mouth, the stuffed animal falls.
• Animal Walks: Get active and silly! Act out different animals while making breathing sounds associated with them. For example, be a bear taking slow, deep breaths, or a panting dog with short, quick breaths.
• Yoga Poses: Many yoga poses incorporate deep breathing and gentle stretches, which can be calming for the nervous system. Look for child-friendly yoga routines online or consider a children’s yoga class.
• Tai Chi: Tai Chi is an ancient Chinese practice that combines gentle movements, deep breathing, and meditation.  Imagine a moving meditation where slow, flowing postures and focused breaths promote relaxation, improve balance, and reduce stress.

Sound Activities:

• Humming: Humming is a simple and effective way to stimulate the vagus nerve. Encourage your child to hum along to their favorite songs or make up their own silly hums.
• Singing: Singing, especially long sustained notes, can activate the vagus nerve. Sing along to songs together or have your child create their own melodies. Make it fun!
• Gargling: Gargling with water activates the vagus nerve similar to humming and singing. Make it fun by gargling silly sounds or pretending to be a monster.
• Laughing: tell jokes, read silly books, play games that crack you both up.

Other Techniques:

• Chewing Gum: Chewing sugar-free gum can help stimulate the vagus nerve. Choose sugar-free options and limit chewing time to avoid jaw fatigue.
• Gentle Massage: Give your child a gentle neck or ear massage. Focus on a light touch and ask them if the pressure feels comfortable.
• Cold Exposure: Briefly splashing cold water on your child’s face (avoiding the eyes), having them suck on an ice cube for a short time, or placing an ice pack on their face or neck, can activate the vagus nerve. Start slow and make sure they’re comfortable.
• Practicing gratitude: Sit down with your child at dinner, before bed or when they wake up and ask them to name three things they liked about their day whether they’re big or small. Repeat this every other day or how often it feels right for your family.
• Meditating: Meditation comes in many forms and doesn’t require long stretches of time. Consider using apps like Headspace, Calm, or Insight Timer for short, guided meditations – even five minutes can make a difference.

Every child is different, so try out a few vagus nerve power-ups to see which ones help your child most. The goal is to create an environment where they can embrace their inner calm. Then they’ll have the tools to tackle big feelings with confidence.

Growing up, I was a deep feeling kid. I remember one time at the park, everyone was having fun on the swings and slides. I really wanted to join them, but it felt too loud. The squeaking of the swings and the shouts of other kids made my ears feel funny. I just stood there, wanting to play but feeling scared of all the noise. My mom saw me and gave me a big hug. She told me it was okay to feel this way, and we sat down on a bench to watch the birds sing instead. Even though I wanted to be part of the fun, it felt better to be quiet with my mom for a little while.

It wasn’t until much later in my life that I learned I’m a highly sensitive person (HSP). Discovering I’m HSP was a turning point. It made my experiences feel validated and helped everything click into place.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our Highly Sensitive Child checklist for FREE. This checklist can help you find out whether your child is highly sensitive, identify their triggers, and find out their strengths.

Deeply feeling children process information deeply, and as a result, they experience the world a little differently than peers. Friendship problems that seem minor to us, sleeping in their own bed, or wearing certain textures, can upset sensitive children, or make them anxious.

Because their brain is differently wired, deeply feeling children need somewhat different things in life to grow up confident and resilient. Here are fourteen of those things:

What Deeply Feeling Children Need to Be Happy

1. Deeply feeling children need a slower lifestyle

Because they process information deeply, a child with a sensitive nervous system may move a little slower than their peers. They may need more time to do certain tasks, like getting ready for school in the morning. They may take a little longer to make decisions, such as what to wear for school because they are taking in not just the mountain of choices, but also how the clothing texture feels on their skin and whether the clothes’ color is “sad” or “happy” (these are my HSC’s words). All of this takes time.

2. Sensitive children need time to decompress after school or after a busy weekend

Just like introverts, deeply feeling kids aren’t built for constant “go-go-go.” Their sensitive nervous systems soak up information like sponges and process it deeply. This, combined with the fact that even for less sensitive children, large schools (in the US, at least) can be overwhelming, can leave a deeply feeling child feeling exhausted after a busy day. Taking some time in the afternoon to decompress helps lower their stimulation levels and recharge their batteries.

3. Deeply feeling children need a calming or sensory corner

Pair #2 “ Time To Decompress “with #3 “Calming Or Sensory Corner”. This space, ideally, would have little noise, relaxing music, books and comfy pillows. You can also put there a box of sensory toys, hang emotional self-regulation posters on the wall, add a basket with a photo album, a lavender roll-on, a journal to fill, and feelings check-in cards.

4. Deeply feeling children need to release big emotions and not be judged for it

Sensitive kids aren’t just extra sensitive to sights, sounds, smells, and crowds; they’re also sensitive emotionally. They might cry more easily than their peers and have meltdowns after a long school day. It’s important to remember that they experience both highs and lows intensely, and allowing them to express those big emotions is key.

However, helping them develop coping skills is just as important. Learning how to handle stress helps them set boundaries with others, be more assertive, and avoid feeling overwhelmed in crowded environments.

Our FREE “Patch It Up” poster provides easy-to-use coping tools to help your child navigate peer conflicts. Check it out:

5. Highly sensitive children need time to adjust to change

Big and everyday transitions can be tough for anybody, but for a deeply feeling child, they can quickly snowball into sadness or outbursts – depending on whether your child is more prone to emotional shut downs or to explosive behavior.

Even positive changes, like the start of summer holiday, can make a sensitive kiddo feel a little anxious, especially if they are prone to anxiety and negative thinking. For example, they may say, “I’m not going to see my best friends every day. It’s going to be so boring!” This dramatic statement might actually mean “I’ll miss our normal routine” or “I feel better when I know what’s going to happen next.”

6. Deeply feeling children need a close connection to family and a small circle of friends

Sensitive kids thrive on deep connections with others. They might even get anxious when they don’t feel like they’re getting enough one-on-one time with their parents or their teacher in the classroom doesn’t seem to appreciate their thoughts and ideas. When they feel disconnected, they might try their best to get your attention, which can sometimes lead to behaviors you might not like.

Because creating meaningful relationships is so important to them, sensitive kids can be picky about their friends. They might have just one or two close friends, which is great on one hand, but on the other hand, they might also ask a lot of those friends and get their feelings hurt easily, especially if they tend to misread social cues.

7. Deeply feeling children need a gentle way of managing conflict

When conflicts pop up with friends, deeply feeling kids can get extra anxious. Some might choose to keep the peace and bottle up their needs instead of addressing disagreements in a healthy way. This can show up as sadness, shutting down, or saying things like “I don’t care.” While they might have strong emotions about the situation, they keep them hidden to avoid the other person getting mad.

Others might react differently, going straight into “fight mode” and having outbursts. Punishing or shaming these outbursts usually backfires because their behavior isn’t intentional; it’s their anxiety taking the wheel. So, the key is to help them manage their anxiety and reassure them that a fight with a friend doesn’t mean the end of the world. In some cases, even if the friendship ends, it might be the best outcome for everyone involved.

8. Responsive parenting helps deeply feeling children feel heard

Think of an iceberg. The tantrums, hitting, or ignoring you – that’s just the tip sticking out of the water. Underneath, there’s a whole lot more going on. It could be feeling unsafe or disconnected from you, needing new skills, or simply being hungry, tired, or overwhelmed.

Responsive parenting means looking beyond the behavior and addressing the hidden needs. Remember, kids want to do well! Setting firm but compassionate limits strengthens your connection while helping them learn and grow.

This approach works especially well with sensitive children who might not respond well to traditional rewards and punishments. It’s not about them being bad or trying to be difficult – some kids are simply wired differently, like those with autism or ADHD. They process information differently and feel things deeply, so traditional methods might not be effective.

9. A good night’s sleep can help deeply feeling children reset after a busy day

Getting enough sleep helps soothe a deeply feeling child’s nervous system and allows them to process their emotions. Unfortunately, sensitively wired kids often have trouble with either falling asleep, staying asleep, or sleeping in their own bed.

Sleep can be challenging if they can’t shut down their thoughts because they need more time to process what happened during the day. Some sensitive kiddos are prone to anxiety and negative thinking patterns, which can interfere with sleep.

Fortunately, there are some ways you can help: a low-demand afterschool schedule, eating healthy meals, or starting bedtime earlier in order to help them process their feelings. Here’s a tip for you: each evening, before bed or at dinner, ask them three things that they liked about their day and three things that they didn’t.

Another way to help them relax is to repeat a positive mantra, like “Learning new things takes time but I can do anything I set my mind to.”

10. Deeply feeling children need healthy and regular meals

Is your child hangry after school? Do they need a snack to feel better? There is a scientific explanation for the connection between mood and food.

Ever notice your child acting cranky after school? Like they need a snack to feel better? Turns out, there’s actually a scientific reason for the connection between mood and food.

Recent research has revealed a fascinating link between what we eat and how we feel. This connection, often called the “gut-brain axis,” is key to understanding our emotional well-being. It’s like a direct line between our stomachs and brains!

For parents of highly sensitive children, understanding this connection can be especially helpful. A study on 863 people in Japan showed highly sensitive people are more likely to experience digestive issues like acid reflux, stomach pain, and constipation. So, being highly sensitive might not just affect how they perceive emotions, but also their physical health.

If you’re struggling with challenging behaviors and can’t figure out the trigger, consider this: making sure your child eats healthy, regular meals and limiting processed foods with dyes might be a game-changer.

11. Having an outlet for their creative side helps deeply feeling children express strong emotions

For deeply feeling children, who often experience emotions intensely, a creative outlet offers a safe way to channel their feelings into something tangible. This can be especially helpful when they struggle to express themselves verbally.

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to fostering creativity. Experiment with different activities like drawing, playing music, storytelling, or even building things with blocks. Observe your child’s interests and find the creative outlet that resonates most with them.

12. Sensitive children also have a strong sense of purpose

Some kids just seem to go with the flow. But for highly sensitive children (HSCs), that’s not always the case. They might ask questions that seem surprisingly deep for their age and come across as strong-willed because they’re not quick to follow rules blindly. Whether it’s learning a new poem in school, writing letters in a specific way, or dressing up for the Christmas play, they might resist demands because they need to understand the reason behind them.

Instead of labeling them “defiant” or “inflexible,” it’s important to understand that these behaviors stem from the desire of deeply feeling children to stay true to their own needs and preferences.

13. They need caregivers and teachers who understand their temperament

Since most people aren’t highly sensitive, they might not understand why something like a scary movie scene or a classmate saying mean things would upset a sensitive child so much. That’s okay, not everyone will get it.

But what a deep-feeling kid really needs is at least a few people, ideally family, who understand their unique way of experiencing the world. As parents, we should not only “get it,” but also have their back. That may sound like, “Of course you need some quiet time after school,” or “Sure, we can leave the party early if you’re feeling overwhelmed.”

14. Spending time in nature helps sensitive children soothe their nervous systems

Highly sensitive or not, kids act differently outdoors. Nature soothes our nervous systems. The open space, fresh air, birdsong, and freedom to move seem to have a magical calming effect.

For deeply feeling people, who are often more sensitive to environmental stimuli, this effect is even pronounced, according to research.

Are your kids always interrupting, asking you to watch everything they do, or just generally making things a bit tough? It happens to all of us!

Children aren’t trying to push our buttons in those moments. They are seeking connection. 

But what if you offer lots of attention and they want more and more?

Here’s how to teach children to entertain themselves.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our Highly Sensitive Child checklist for FREE. This checklist can help you find out whether your child is highly sensitive or deeply feeling, identify their triggers, and find out their strengths which can help build their self-confidence.

1.      Quality versus Quantity

To teach children to entertain themselves, you first have to make sure that their emotional cup is full.

#1. Schedule one-on-one special time each day

Even 15-20 minutes of undivided attention can make a big difference. Here are some fun one-on-one activities for tired parents and energetic kids:

Creative Play:

• Play-Doh fun: Mold silly creatures, build structures, or have a color-mixing competition.
• Draw me anything: Challenge each other to draw funny pictures based on silly prompts.
• DIY craft: Choose a simple project like finger painting, mandala coloring, or popsicle stick crafts.

Active Play:

• Indoor treasure hunt: Hide small treats or clues around the house and let your child be the pirate or detective searching for them.
• Fort building: Grab blankets, pillows, and chairs to build a cozy fort. Read stories, snuggle, or tell jokes inside.
• Balloon stomp: Blow up some balloons and have a playful stomping race while trying not to pop them.

Relaxing Activities:

• Cuddle and read: Find a comfy spot, snuggle up, and take turns reading stories.
• Puzzles together: Choose a colorful puzzle and work on it together.
• Nature walk: Head outside, observe the surroundings, and collect leaves or pebbles.
• Peaceful massage: Take turns giving each other gentle hand or foot massages. You can also try EFT tapping – read more here.

#2. Make special time about them

Let them choose the activity during scheduled one-on-one time. If they choose activities that take longer or you don’t feel up to, ask them to give you three options. Or if they insist, you can suggest doing the longer activity on the weekend.

It would be best if you collaborated so that everyone feels heard. This is also a perfect opportunity for your child to learn social and negotiation skills.

#3. Use visual schedules and timers for special time

Create a weekly visual schedule (or daily for toddlers) where they can see when they’ll have one-on-one time.

Timers can make waiting more fun. You can also use timers if your child gets impatient. Many kids, especially highly sensitive ones, get overly excited simply from anticipating something.

Similarly, you can use visual schedules and timers to encourage children to entertain themselves. For example, you can have a timer for independent play and for age-appropriate chores, too, as long as the kids think it’s fun.

#4. Set clear expectations ahead of time

Explain kindly and firmly that you can’t be available every moment, as much as you want to. (“Mommy/Daddy needs some time to unwind sometimes, just like you need time to play with your friends.”)

You can also emphasize the benefit of self-care: “When I take a break, I can come back feeling refreshed and ready to spend time with you!”

Then, offer alternatives: “While I’m taking a break, you can choose a book to read, build with Legos, or draw a picture.”

#5. “Bonus time” deal

If your child wants more special time after your one-on-one activity, consider discussing a “bonus time” deal. For example, if your little one begs for more tag, say, “If you want ten extra minutes of tag, you need to help me out first.” Then, suggest something positive they can do while you get a breather, like finishing a favorite puzzle or setting the table. If they complete their mini-task, give them those extra minutes of fun. But if they forget their promise, gently explain that extra play depends on keeping their word. This teaches responsibility and makes future negotiations smoother.

2. Encourage Independence

#1. Assign small chores

Age-appropriate chores can give a sense of accomplishment and self-confidence. To make chores fun, add some silly music or turn chores into a race. Also, consider giving a list of chores to choose from to give your child a sense of control.

Deeply feeling and neurodivergent kids are sensitive to criticism. Hence, it’s better to celebrate effort and progress when they help with chores. Remember, the aim is to keep the kids busy.

#2. Create a sensory corner for children to entertain themselves

Offer a variety of games and materials that encourage children to entertain themselves. In addition, rotate materials every week so there’s always something new and exciting. Also, involve the kids in choosing the items for their calming/sensory corner.

Here are our suggestions for building a calming and sensory corner/toolbox for children to entertain themselves:

• Visual: lava lamp, pictures and posters of calming landscapes, fidget spinners, glitter jars, sensory bottles filled with sensory beads and glitter, posters with calming and mindfulness activities or yoga poses for kids
• Touch: weighted blanket, play dough, slime, stress balls, squishy toys, feathers, wood blocks, water beads
• Hearing: calming music, nature play, white noise, wind chimes, headphones for listening to music or an audiobook
• Smell: lavender or vanilla playdough (you can make your own by adding some lavender essential oil to your playdough), scented play sand (mix kinetic sand with ground spice like cinnamon or nutmeg), spice jars filled with cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg
• Vestibular: small trampoline, indoor swing.

One way to teach children to entertain themselves with a calming corner is to set up a daily routine. For example, kids use the calming and sensory corner each morning after breakfast.

#3. Play together, then encourage children to entertain themselves

Start play sessions together, then gradually guide them towards solo activities while you’re nearby for support. Stay within earshot, offer smiles and gentle guidance while keeping it short.

Remember, children learn to entertain themselves through practice. The more opportunities they have to play independently, the better they’ll get.

3. Discover Unmet Needs

#1. Learn your child’s emotional and sensory triggers

Children often can’t get enough of their caregivers because they need to bond with us to feel loved. Ask yourself if any recent changes in your child’s life (new sibling, school difficulties, family conflicts) might be causing anxiety and seeking comfort.

You can also start tracking behavior. Notice the situations and triggers that lead to increased attention-seeking. Does it happen when you’re busy, distracted, or about to leave? Did your child used to love to play independently and now they don’t?

Moreover, think about whether your child can express emotions and needs effectively. If not, attention-seeking might be their way of communicating. In this case, you might need to teach them about the different types of emotions and how we can healthily express them (for example, using “I feel…when…” statements). If they struggle to verbalize, offer alternative ways to express themselves, like drawing, writing, or role-playing.

Also, consider sensory processing needs and ADHD. Neurodivergent children may crave extra stimulation due to the different wiring of their brains. Consider talking to a healthcare professional for evaluation.

If you feel that your child has sensory sensitivities, check out our 8 Sensory Cheat Sheets Free Printable. You can download it here.

#2. Get those feelings out

Talk openly about their feelings to find out why they don’t like to entertain themselves. Click the link to check our FREE Feelings Check-In Cards, which you can use as a Conversation Starter!

Highly sensitive children may reject you when you try to talk it out. Shutting down doesn’t mean however, that children don’t need connection. Some ways to help them process their feelings are:

• Share personal experiences without referencing their own situation so they don’t feel like their emotions overwhelm them again (“I remember when I was your age, my sister did this thing and I felt really mad. I learned that….Anyway do you want a snack?”). Keep it casual and neutral and let them decide if they want to open up to you. Our job is just to show them that we’re there for them. If they have an avoidant style, they may want to go back into their shell instead of sharing uncomfortable feelings. Give them time.
• Read stories about emotions your child relates to.
• Get playful: when everyone’s calm, play feelings charades games (click here to get our Feelings Charade FREE Printable), or create stories where characters go through challenging experiences.

Take-Home Message

Kids seek connection the best they know how, even if it pushes our buttons sometimes. And seeing the child beyond the behavior is crucial for them to thrive.

But let’s face it: we can’t always be superheroes. There are days when multiple little hands are reaching for us, plus work, friends, and, yes, even our sanity to consider.

Doing our best is what matters; honestly, that can look different on different days. Some days, it’s hours of playtime, while other days, it’s acknowledging their need for connection and setting limits with compassion. And guess what? That’s okay!

Doing our best is enough. We are enough. Full stop.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. It’s actually pretty common for kids to experience a surge in emotional intensity around this age. Around 5.5-7 years old, children begin to lose some of the early childhood magic and can understand more and question more what happens around them. While up to 5-6 years old, they discover the world mainly by exploring, and through their senses, now they also start to focus on feelings, theirs and others. They begin to develop compassion, and at the same time, they are more sensitive to others’ words. They also discover they have power: they can experiment with manipulation, exclusion, and inappropriate or goofy behavior.

All in all, you will feel them separating from yourself as their sense of self develops. This stage of development brings a new round of limit-testing and boundary renegotiation. You’ll need to keep your empathy and compassion as your child tries things out to find their way.

So, how can we help our sensitive six-year-olds navigate these stormy emotional waters? Well, that’s what we’re going to talk about today.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our Anger Wheel printable for FREE. This printable can give your child eight simple coping tools to cope with anger safely, without hurting themselves or others. You can print it as a poster and hang it in your child’s room or in your classroom if you’re a teacher.

Are tantrums normal in 6-year-olds normal?

Temper tantrums can be developmentally appropriate for 6-year-olds. Your child’s brain is still developing, and we can’t expect them always to be able to remain calm when having strong emotions. That isn’t easy, even for adults!

When assessing whether your 6-year-old’s tantrums are normal, think about:

• How do tantrums manifest? A tantrum at home once a week is different from a tantrum at school, which ends in getting a call from the principal. Also, a tantrum where the child stomps their feet is less problematic than one where the child acts aggressively.
• Does the child self-harm, or is the aggression directed towards others? According to this longitudinal study, tantrums involving self-harm are more likely to predict mental disorders later in life.
• How long does the tantrum last? According to this study on 3-5-year-old children, tantrums lasting more than 25 minutes may indicate a more serious issue.
• Has the frequency and duration of tantrums increased with age?
• Can the child gradually soothe themselves, or do they stop out of exhaustion?
• Does the tantrum have no apparent trigger? Have you excluded sleep, sensory overload, and hunger?

Some kids also experience a sort of throwback to the tantrum stage when they’re older, around 6 or 7 years old. This happens especially if they didn’t get to express their feelings freely when they were younger. It’s like they’re trying to catch up on all the emotions they couldn’t express before. That can happen to highly sensitive children, who may take the role of “good” kids when parents are stressed, when a new sibling arrives, or when they have louder siblings.

Sensitive kids may take the role of “good” kids due to their profound need to feel emotionally connected with others. This need can be so deep that they will ignore their true self to gain some form of love and connection.

However, even sensitive children reach a point where they’ve had enough and eventually burst into tantrums.

6-Year-Old Tantrums: Highly Sensitive Children

Highly sensitive kids may have more outbursts than their peers, especially around people they feel safe with. They have low frustration tolerance and are also extra sensitive to perceived rejection so they may throw more tantrums.

In addition, they tend to be more inflexible or have a strong sense of fairness, which can also trigger explosive behavior (“He cheated, so I bit him to make him stop! He started it. So why do I get punished? It’s not fair!”).

Sensitively wired kids go deep and need time to process what happened and how they feel, so they may take longer to bounce back. Some children have an easier time letting it go and moving on, but it’s not so for deep feelers. Every experience leaves a mark in the form of thoughts, emotions, and memories. As a result, your child may seem to throw tantrums out of nowhere, but their outbursts may be related to negative past experiences that have left behind traces.

Sensitive kids can also be very strong-willed during a tantrum. They may seem non-compliant and assertive and often don’t like being told what to do. Due to their determination, your 6-year-old’s tantrums may last longer than those of other kids who move on more quickly.

In addition, they often see things from a different angle. And if you have a neurotypical way of thinking, it may be hard for you to understand their perspective, so you may react in a way that invalidates their experience.

Highly sensitive children also experience the world in a unique way. When sensitive kids feel overwhelmed by their environment (when the lights, touch, and taste are too much), you might see tantrums, emotional shutting down, or physical discomfort (read more here about somatization).

Here’s an example of how a highly sensitive six-year-old may experience a tantrum:

Lilly, a sensitive six-year-old, was playing cards with her four-year-old brother, Billy, in the living room. Billy, who had recently discovered how to play cards, was getting bored and started to sort the cards by color during the game. Lilly asked him to stop because he was ruining the game, but he didn’t. Lilly got frustrated and threw the cards down on the floor. Billy started to cry and called her stupid. Lilly got even more upset and hit him. Their mother came into the room and saw what was happening. She was visibly upset with Lilly’s behavior.

Here’s what Lilly might be experiencing during this tantrum:

• She was frustrated by her brother’s behavior.
• The little girl felt a deep sense of shame for hurting her brother.
• She felt that her mother was unfair, and she felt rejected as a result.
• Lilly was overwhelmed by her mother’s anger at her.

Here’s how other children in Lilly’s situation might have reacted during his tantrum:

• Fight stress response: hit younger brother
• Flight: be so full of shame and frustration that they run away; being high-energy or anxious afterward due to the pent-up energy.
• Freeze: unable to listen to what mother has to say because they feel overwhelmed with emotion; seeming to have low energy, shut down.
• Fawn: over-apologizing when the parent is upset.

In our example, Lilly’s brother could calm down and continue playing soon after the incident. But Lilly needed extra time and space to decompress and process what happened. She was restless for the rest of the day. Like many others, this outburst made Lilly feel like she was different, and that’s why her parents treated her differently from her brother.

Here’s another example of what this can look like:

Ava is a sensitive and strong-willed 6-year-old. When her mom tells her, “We need to leave for school in five minutes. Why aren’t you ready yet? I gave you two reminders.” Now, mom is rushing Ava through the morning routine, and Ava feels a loss of control and intense discomfort when faced with her mom’s expectations. This feeling is incredibly threatening for her.

Here’s what Ava might be thinking:

• “I don’t like being rushed.”
• “My mom acts like I cannot get ready on my own.”
• “I just wanted to play on my own, my way, without anyone interrupting me.”

Here’s what Ava might do during her tantrum: she might feel so overwhelmed that the logical part of the brain, including the executive functioning, stops working. As a result, she might not be able to find her clothes or zip up her jacket. That might make her spiral into hopelessness and start crying. Or she might begin to kick and scream, “I’m not getting dressed.” However, this behavior is not a sign of defiance; instead, it shows Ava’s need to manage the anxiety that her mom’s demands create.

6-Year-Old Tantrums: 4 Ways To Manage Big Emotions

1. Nurture The Relationship With Your 6-Year-Old

A strong emotional bond with their primary caregiver is paramount for sensitive or strong-willed children. Here are a few simple ways to nurture this connection:

Spend one-on-one time doing something of their choice! Set aside time to do things your child loves, like listening to their favorite music, creating art together, or playing pretend games.

Make repairs. Highly sensitive children may find it hard to move on from arguments. Make sure to talk it out and apologize. This helps them feel like you still love and care about them, even when you’re mad.

2. Let Your Child Figure Things Out For Themselves

Have you ever noticed how your child lights up when they figure out something for themselves? That’s because it’s not just about getting the task done; it’s also about feeling empowered. Knowing how to solve problems themselves helps kids become more confident and resilient.

So, instead of telling your child what to do, step back and see if you can encourage them to come up with the next step themselves. Here are some examples:

• Imagine your child is playing with their toys, and you ask them to put the toys away. Instead of telling them how to do it, ask, “What do you think is the best way to put away your toys?”
• Your child is having trouble getting dressed for school. Instead of telling them which clothes to wear, you could try, “What do you think would look great for school today? The red blouse or the green one?”

3. Validate Your Child’s Big Feelings

It’s common for parents to try to suppress tantrums because they can be distressing. This can inadvertently make children feel misunderstood and invalidated.

For example, if your sensitive child hits their little brother, your first reaction might be to focus on the behavior and put feelings in second place. Instead, acknowledging that the kids’ emotions are real before discussing behavior choices can be very powerful.

For example, if your sensitive child hits their little brother, your first reaction might be to focus on the behavior and put feelings in second place. Instead, acknowledging that the kids’ emotions are real before discussing behavior choices can be very powerful.

• “Your brother messed up your game of cards. I hear you. I hate it, too, when someone doesn’t follow the rules. I wonder what would help?”
• “You really don’t like being rushed. Hectic mornings are the worst. I wonder what we can do to avoid being in a rush. What do you think?”

4. Set Consistent Boundaries

Sensitive and strong-willed children need to feel in control but also a sturdy leader to guide them when their emotions are overwhelming. They need someone who wants to know their feelings and listen without judgment.

For example, your strong-willed six-year-old wants to co-sleep. While you love snuggling with your child, you can’t have any rest when you sleep with them. You can set a boundary that you co-sleep on weekends if your child sleeps in their bed Monday through Friday.

Let’s take another example: Your six-year-old has after-school meltdowns. You know they are overstimulated and need to let their big feelings out, but they don’t like it when they say something hurtful or hit you. Using your warmest voice, you validate their feelings and inform them you are helping them keep their hands to themselves. Alternatively, you take a deep breath (which helps you calm down and also with modeling behavior) and let them know that you are leaving the room for five minutes each time they say hurtful words to you.

6-Year-Old Tantrums: Take-Home Message

Sensitive, strong-willed children are good. They don’t want to drain our energy, and they don’t arrive in this world intending to test our limits. That’s why it’s crucial to remember that they aren’t trying to give us a hard time. They are having a hard time.

Is your little one hesitant to try new things or more cautious than others? Do they seem to get overwhelmed by loud noises or bright lights?

If so, you may have a highly sensitive toddler. I was one of those kids. I often felt misunderstood growing up because I needed more time to adjust to new situations, while other kids seemed to jump right in. I’ve had to work hard as an adult to reframe my childhood memories.

As a mom, I know I don’t want my child to feel like I did. That’s why I think it’s so important to understand the traits of highly sensitive children and help them manage their emotions.

Before we begin, we’d like to offer you our FREE Star Breathing Brain Break exercise. This fun and simple tracing exercise can help you and your child manage anger, frustration, and other big emotions. You can use it as part of your bedtime routine to help your child relax before bed, or hang it in a calming and sensory corner of your home for use whenever needed.

What Is A Highly Sensitive Child?

Being sensitive is nothing new. Over 100 years ago, a famous Swiss psychiatrist named C.G. Jung called it “innate sensitiveness.” But it’s gotten more attention in the past 20 years. In the 1990s, Dr. Elaine Aron gave us the terms “highly sensitive person” (HSP) and “highly sensitive child” (HSC).

According to her research, about 20% of the population is highly sensitive. Dr. Elaine Aron identifies four main traits:

• Depth of processing: Highly sensitive people are reflective, and these kids seem wise for their age. They also take a little more time before trying something new.
• Overwhelm: Highly sensitive people and children can’t handle as much as others. They get tired and overwhelmed more quickly because they have busy brains and sensory sensitivities. However, they can process their thoughts more effectively in a low-demand or familiar environment.
• Emotional responsiveness and empathy: Highly sensitive people can be easily overwhelmed by strong emotions, both positive and negative. They can react strongly to others’ emotions and sense your feelings even if you don’t say anything.
• Sensitive to subtleties: A highly sensitive person will notice small changes that go unnoticed, like subtle tastes, sounds, smells, and minor changes in room décor. They also know how to make others feel more comfortable.

Professor Michael Pluess found that people who are more stressed by negative experiences also feel joy more deeply and benefit more from supportive environments. He simplified sensitivity theories into “environmental sensitivity,” suggesting that some people are born with a more sensitive nervous system.

Why Is My Child Highly Sensitive?

Research has shown that highly sensitive children and adults have a more reactive brain than non-HSPs. They have a more active amygdala, the part of the brain that processes fear and emotions. This can explain why they pause and check in unfamiliar situations and get so easily frustrated or overwhelmed.

They also have a more active anterior cingulate cortex, the part of the brain that plays a role in attention allocation, anticipation of tasks, decision-making, ethics and morality, and emotional awareness. These differences may explain why HSPs are more compassionate and care so much about fairness.

HSP Versus Autism

Some people believe that being an HSP is not a real thing and that HSPs are, in fact, autistic. According to current research, an autistic brain is different from an HSP brain. However, the definition of autism is constantly evolving as scientists better understand the functioning of an autistic brain. And the same holds true for HSP.

For now, what’s clear is that HSPs, like autistic persons, view the world through a different lens. In addition, HSPs have more challenges than non-HSPs, and likewise, autistic persons have more challenges than neurotypical persons. The cause is the same: both HSPs and autistics rare in minority; the world was not built for them. But that doesn’t mean that they cannot thrive.

We are our children’s first teachers, and helping them build stress coping skills, whether they are neuro-divergent or not, is one of the most important things we can do for them. When we help them see their strengths and cope with their challenges, we’re setting them up for success in life.

How Do I Know If My Toddler Is Highly Sensitive?

Here are the common signs of a highly sensitive child:

Emotional Intensity:

• Strong reactions to emotions, both positive and negative
• Highly attuned to their primary caregiver
• Poor frustration tolerance
• Easily overwhelmed by excitement or sadness
• May have frequent tantrums or meltdowns.

Depth of Processing:

• Likes to think deeply about things
• May seem withdrawn
• Prone to worries
• Cautious

Need for Downtime:

• Needs quiet breaks
• Enjoys spending time alone and in nature
• May become irritable or withdrawn if they don’t get enough downtime.

Sensory Intelligence:

• Easily bothered by noise, crowds, bright lights, tags on clothes, sock seams, the change of seasons.
• May have difficulty sleeping due to sensory overload
• May be picky eaters or have strong preferences for certain textures or smells
• May be artistic
• Sensitive to art and beauty

Social Sensitivity:

• May be shy or reserved in new situations and around new people
• Prefers to play with one or two close friends or individually
• May be easily hurt by criticism or rejection
• May interact better with adults than children because adults’ behavior is more predictable
• Observes and absorbs others’ emotions
• Knows what do to to makes others feel comfortable.

5 Challenges and Strategies for a Highly Sensitive Toddler

1. Temper tantrums and emotional meltdowns

Toddlers who feel emotions deeply may have more emotional meltdowns than average. This is because they experience both positive and negative emotions very intensely. Sensory stimuli, like loud noises or bright lights, can also worsen outbursts.

It’s important to remember that tantrums and meltdowns are a normal part of development for all toddlers. However, these behaviors may be more frequent and intense for a highly sensitive child, including toddlers.

Here are a few tips to help you if your little one is struggling with too many outbursts:

Identify your highly sensitive toddler ‘s triggers:

Pay attention to your child’s behavior to determine what makes them have tantrums or meltdowns. You can keep a journal to track where, when, why, and with whom these happen most often. The triggers could be anything from loud noises to crowds to changes in routine. Once you know the triggers, you can try to avoid them or make a plan to deal with them.

Create a predictable routine:

A routine can help toddlers feel less stressed and anxious. Set regular meals, naps, and bedtime times, and don’t make sudden changes. If changes do happen, explain to your little one what’s happening. Even if you think your toddler is too young to understand, highly sensitive toddlers are usually wise for their age.

Validate and support your highly sensitive toddler:

When they feel upset, acknowledge their feelings and validate their experiences, even if you disagree. Don’t try to judge or dismiss their emotions. Instead, try to help them calm down and discuss better behavior choices.

Incorporate quiet breaks in your routine:

A highly sensitive toddler need plenty of downtime. Offer them a low-demand environment and a quiet, relaxing place, like a calming or a sensory corner.

Teach your child emotional self-regulation skills:

This could include deep breathing exercises, like the FREE Star Breathing Brain Break , or teaching your child to express their feelings using words.

2. Sleep difficulties

There are a few reasons why highly sensitive toddlers may have sleep problems:

• Sensory sensitivity: Highly sensitive toddlers are more aware of and sensitive to their surroundings. This can make it difficult for them to wind down and relax at bedtime, especially if their environment is noisy, bright, or otherwise stimulating.
• Rich inner world: Highly sensitive toddlers often have a rich inner world with vivid imaginations. This can make it difficult to fall asleep at night, as their minds may be racing with thoughts and feelings.
• Difficulty detaching from the day’s events: Highly sensitive toddlers may have difficulty detaching from the day’s events, especially if they had a tough day. This can make it difficult for them to fall asleep and stay asleep.

Here are a few strategies you can try to help your toddler get a more restful night:

• Nurture your relationship with your child before any change in the sleep routine: When our children struggle with sleep, it’s important to remember that the best way to help them is to nurture our relationship first. Our children thrive when they feel our closeness.
• Create a calm and relaxing bedtime routine: Establish a consistent bedtime routine that signals your child that it’s time to wind down and prepare for sleep. This could include a warm bath, rocking your baby to sleep, laying with them, reading a book, and singing a lullaby.
• Limit screen time one hour before bed: The blue light emitted from screens can interfere with sleep.
• Establish a quiet and dark sleep environment: Minimize noise and distractions in the bedroom, and ensure the room is dark enough for sleep. You can use blackout curtains if needed.
• Encourage daytime naps: Highly sensitive toddlers benefit from having a consistent nap schedule during the day. This can help them feel more rested at bedtime.
• Provide a comfortable sleep environment: Consider using a weighted blanket or white noise machine.

3. Separation anxiety and shyness

Deep-feeling toddlers often have trouble being apart from their caregivers and around new people. They may feel very close to their caregivers and get emotionally dysregulated when they are not around. In addition, a highly sensitive toddler may also be hesitant to play with many other energetic and unpredictable toddlers.

If your toddler is experiencing separation anxiety, here are a few things you can do to help:

• Prepare for transitions: When you need to leave your child with someone else, prepare them for the change. Explain who will be caring for them and what they will do together. (“Sweetie, I need to go for a little while, but you’re going to have so much fun with [caregiver’s name]! They’re going to play with you, read your favorite books, and have a snack together. I’ll be back after your snack, and we can do something special together when I return. Can you give [caregiver’s name] a big smile and wave goodbye for me?“)
• Provide reassurance: When you leave your child, reassure them that you will be back and love them. Try also to remain calm and confident. (“I’ll be back just before bedtime. I can’t wait to see you when I get back!” or “I’m going to work, but I’ll be back before dinner. I’ll be thinking of you while I’m gone.”)
• Help your child build social skills: Slowly introduce them to new people and places, even if that means taking them out of their comfort zone. Start with small things and build up to bigger things until your child feels safe. And remember to praise even small wins.

4. Sensory sensitivities

Highly sensitive toddlers are more likely to be bothered by noise, touch, taste, smell, and artificial or bright light. That can lead to:

• Meltdowns due to loud noises, crowded environments, strong smells, or bright lights.
• Difficulty focusing and paying attention in noisy or chaotic environments, like busy playgrounds, playdates with many children, or a large daycare center. That can make it challenging for them to learn and participate in activities.
• Picky eating: Sensitive toddlers may be picky eaters because they don’t like certain textures, tastes, or smells.
• Picky about clothes: Sensitive toddlers may not like the seams or the tags on their socks. When the seasons change, like when summer ends and fall begins, it can make them even more sensitive to these things (for example, they may avoid wearing long sleeves for as long as possible).
• Sleep problems Highly sensitive toddlers are more aware of and sensitive to their surroundings. This can make it difficult for them to wind down and relax at bedtime, especially if their environment is noisy, bright, or otherwise stimulating.

If your toddler is experiencing sensory sensitivity, there are a few things you can do to help:

• Identify your child’s sensory sensitivities: Pay attention to what triggers your child’s discomfort and avoid these triggers as much as possible. If that’s not possible, think of ways to cope. For example, you can provide noise-cancelling headphones if noise is a problem.
• Create a sensory-friendly environment: Minimize noise, clutter, and bright lights. Try to provide your child with sensory toys and activities to help them regulate their emotions.

5. Trouble with transitions

Difficulty with transitions is a common challenge for sensitive toddlers. Here’s why:

• They need more time to adjust to change. Highly sensitive toddlers are more aware of their surroundings and more sensitive to changes. This can make it difficult for them to adjust to transitions, such as moving from one activity to another or from one place to another.
• They are more easily overwhelmed. They have a lower threshold for stimulation, meaning they are more easily overwhelmed by new or different situations.
• They have a strong need for predictability. Toddlers thrive on routine and sensitive ones, even more so. Transitions can disrupt their routine and make them feel insecure.

 If your toddler is struggling with transitions, here are a few strategies to help you make daily transitions smoother:

• Anticipate: Give your child plenty of warning before a transition, and explain what will happen calmly and reassuringly. This can help your child to prepare for the change. You can use “Now…then” sentences to explain what will happen next.
• Gradual transitions: Break down transitions into smaller steps. For example, instead of jumping from playing to bedtime, you can gradually wind down by reading a story, singing lullabies, and dimming the lights.
• Provide comfort items: Allow your child to bring comfort items like a special blanket, toy, or stuffed animal to help them feel secure during transitions.
• Avoid dismissing their feelings. Try to avoid phrases like “It’s not that bad,” “You’re overreacting,” and “It’s just a toy.” Try instead, “You must be feeling angry. How can I help you?”

Take-Home Message

Toddlers are, by definition, emotional. Highly sensitive toddlers take emotions to a whole new level. That makes our parenting journey extra hard.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Now that you know about highly sensitive child traits, you can help your toddler manage their emotions better. It can be tricky to deal with big feelings, but it’s important to remember that you are your child’s first teacher. When you help them learn to manage their emotions, you’re setting them up for success in life.